Corruption Perception Index
Transperancy International ( TI ) is a non Governmental organisation, which has been coming out with Corruption Perception Index of various countries during the last few years. TI has chapters in various countries which are manned by eminent persons. Admiral Tahilani, formerce Chief of Indian Navy, is the Chief of TI Chapter in India.
Governments of countries, which are identified in the higher level of Corruption Perception Index, obviously are chary of both quoting the Index or accepting the veracity of the Index. Yet it is a fact that over a period of time world-wide there is considerable credibility to the Index.
In the Index published by TI for the year, India has been ranked at 74, i.e., there are 73 countries in the world which according to TI have levels of corruption less than that of India. It is the Scandinavian counrtries which are least corrupt. Then comes most of the Western countries.
The Corruption Perception Index has sometimes been criticized as the perception of a select few, since it ignores the perception of the wider population, and instead focuses on that of a few experts like the rest of science does. Furthermore, some have opined that the index analyzes a "mere perception", and that the method followed in preparing the index couldn't measure institutional corruption.
While on can’t dismiss the above view points, still the fact remains that India is a very corupt country, a fact known to all Indians and those foreign inviduals or institutions which had to do business or work in India.
Having lived with corruption for such a long time, unfortunately, Indians tend to accept the same as a fact of life and resigned to the situation. But why should it be so. Consider the massive investments being made by Government for improving the lot of the poor. But a large part of such investment does not reach the poor because of massive corruption. Further, project cost goes up because of corruption. In brief, corruption corrodes our endeavour to improve the position of India and Indians. There is also the danger of corruption being accepted as a part of life in this blesseed country. Today, there is hardly any stigma attached to it. One does not mind friendship at individual or family level with corupt people. That is the tragedy of India.
Downward journey of fourth estate
· Electronic media is increasingly reporting remarks and issues out of context. TV channels ignore wittingly or unwittingly historical context, nuance, explanatory arguments and the innate complexity of issues and personalities involved in the news. There is often ‘ Do you continue to beat your wife‘ syndrome, whereby both answers of ‘ yes ‘ and ‘ no’ would show in poor light the person replying the question .
· There is a wide-spread perception that both print and visual media are slowly pandering too much to the base instincts of human beings and abdicating from giving perceptive analysis on serious matters, with not a single angle but inclusive of both pros and cons. One must hasten to add that there could be developments where there may be only ‘ pros ‘ or ‘con.’ But objective reporting is being increasingly substituted with subjective reporting. Frivolous angles are highlighted. Depth and content are both slipping away slowly. Sort of Americanism is seeping, i.e., unwanted aggression in the coverage and comments and question & answers and in dress style of female anchors. . Scandals are given repeated coverage and often blown out of proportion.
· The arguments of the media that they are all the time pressed for time, that they are only catering to the tastes of the viewers / readers, that they are following the trend in advanced countries, that the time span of viewer on any matter is short, etc., while cannot be dismissed should be taken as an excuse rather than justification. To some extent it is the print and visual media which influences the tastes of viewers. So first they influence viewers / readers by repeatedly presenting news as mentioned above and then they take the stand that what they give is according to the tastes of the viewers.
Why should our worthy Prime Minister curry for favour
‘Indian people love you’ – So said Mr. Manmohan Singh to Mr. Bush. The allergy of Karat against anything American prompted him to caustically comment ‘ Yes, we all know that Manmohan Singh likes Bush but why should he bring Indian people into the statement. While I am not in cahoots with Karat in his total hatred for the Americans, in this instance I agree with him. Why should a level headed Man Mohan Singh make such a statement. Most of the Indians have no admiration and much less love for Bush.
Nobel prize for peace.
Former Finnish President was selected for the Nobel Peace Prize and the print media published this in one of the inside pages with a short write up, as against the hoopla created by the print media when the prize is given to a known personality. Yes, when it is a well known figure, there is bound to be detailed write ups and at times criticism on the choice. But does that mean a figure unknown in Indian circles should be virtually written off with a few sentences.
Resistance to change related to modernity:
A lady teacher in West Bengal School has been taken to task by the management of the school for wearing salwar kameez instead of the usual dress of saree for the teachers in the school. ‘ We have nothing against the salwar kameez but there is something called tradition,’ so said the management. Apart from other reasons for wearing saree, the lady teacher has said that she has to travel in bus for coming and going to school and salwar kameez is more comfortable and convenient for traveling in bus rather than saree. In many parts of the country salwar kameez was taken in the past as North Indian dress. However, during the last few years in many places, particularly in cities and towns, both girls / women in large number, and the number is increasing as time goes by, have opted for salwar kameez. It is also catching up in villages.
Somerset Maugham had said that tradition is a guide and not a jailer. For many elders in this country tradition is a non negotiable mater, rooted as they are to tradition
Sacrifices of judges
When it comes to self interest – or should one term it as ‘ selfish interest, ‘ judges are not above you and me. In the aftermath of Pay Commission recommendations, there have been statements of sitting and retired judges to the effect that ‘ the judges of HCs and SC, who are experts in law, have sacrificed lucrative practice at bar to serve the country.’ It is the hyperbole that was used by serving and retired soldiers of all ranks for claiming higher remuneration, i.e., ‘ sacrifice ‘ for the country. From the bar once a while somebody is seconded to the Bench by Government. Those advocates who have lucrative practice often decline the offer of Government because of level of salary of Judges, which by itself is not on the lower side but when compared to good practice in the bar would be less. But then there is prestige in being a judge.
The job of a successful senior lawyer is very arduous as compared to that of judge. A judge gets his salary and perks irrespective of the level of his performance. Not so in the case of advocates. And then there is life long pension for judges, which is not the case with Advocates. So where is the question of ‘ sacrifice.’ In any case they joined the Judicial service in the beginning because of the prestige. Now you can’t have the cake and eat it too.
The hoopla on banning of smoking in public places
The media, both print and visual, have covered this action of the Government as a momentous one. As if a burning problem ( double entendre intended ) facing the nation, has been effectively dealt with. Now what are the facts. Over 90% of the smoking in this blessed country is of bidis. Though strictly speaking smoking of bidis has also been banned in public places. But the fact is that bidis are never smoked in public places. Even after the ban, one can smoke in his house and in open areas. Only in public places, i.e., offices, cinema theatres, eateries, etc., the ban is applicable. Smokers working in offices would go out of the office and smoke. They will smoke in cars. Yes, a few would be booked. I a m a smoker and yet I support the ban. But I am not going to be hooked in to the wild cheering for this step of the Government
Friday, October 24, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Jet Airways retrenchment imbroglio
Because of the down trend in passenger travel due to economic meltdown, Jet Airways decided to retrench, as per law, hundred or odd in flight employees, mostly women / girls. They would get retrenchment compensation as per law or if the terms of employment provides for more liberal retrenchment compensation, then the latter would be applicable For consecutively two days major dailies in Delhi gave considerable coverage in the newspapers and that too in the front page with photos of weeping girls who have been retrenched. There was ample TV coverage with discussion programmes only on the subject. In short, a hoopla was made after the incident. The retrenched employees went to Raj Thackeray and the latter agreed to intervene. In the meanwhile the Union Civil Aviation Minister, Mr. Praful Patel, purported to have advised ( warned? ) Naresh Goel, Chairman of Jet to take the retrenched employees back. Though denying any pressure from the Minister, Mr. Goel said that on ‘ humanitarian grounds ‘ the retrenched employees would be taken back.
Now consider the following:
· Each day thousands of workers are being removed from work ( mostly without any retrenchment compensation ) in the unorganized and even organized sectors in Delhi alone. If we take the country as a whole the figure would go up to a much higher level. Then what is that so special about the Jet incident, to make it appear as a national calamity.
· The employees of Jet who were retrenched, mostly belong to middle class and upper middle class. Was that the reason for the hoopla in the media. In any case most of the retrenched would not starve ( and many would get alternative jobs ), which is not the case of many of the workers removed from service everyday in the unorganized sector.
· Raj Thackery’s agitations so far were confined to protecting the interests of Maharashtrians. In this instance not even 10% of those affected were Maharashtrains. But why should he lose an opportunity when it is the retrenched employees who sought his help. Now others would also seek his help, giving him legitimacy not due to him.
· The unfortunate intervention of the Civil Aviation Minister ( though denied by him ) would encourage workers in other industries to approach their own respective Ministers for similar intervention ( and managements would be in a dilemma ).
And then there are larger and long term issues, such as:
· Industrial establishments cannot retrench workers without the approval of the Government. And Governments have been chary of giving such approval ( Between 1947 and now only in 100 or a few more cases approval was given ). This led to managements of industrial enterprises engaging contract labour directly or through contractors, whose services could be dispensed with straightaway, i.e., without the approval of Government.
· With technology upgradation being a continuous process and newer and newer machines being developed requiring less and less workforce, many a company decided not to modernize since the surplus workers cannot be retrenched, a loss to the company and the country.
· It is the same case with small scale industries. Many of the benefits allowed by Government would not be available if the small scale units go beyond a size stipulated by Government. Hence instead of expanding, managements of such enterprises started setting up new units for manufacture of same products, thereby the country being deprived of economy of scale of operation of such units..
· Requirement level of work force of any enterprise would go on changing, depending on several factors, such as, recession or speedy growth in the economy, the demand for goods / services of each enterprise at any time, competition, both internal and external, newer products with better value for customer being introduced, newer technology making obsolete existing type of goods and services, etc.,
· The incident dealt with in this note cannot be considered in isolation. There is economic melt-down. Airlines are functioning with low occupancy. Demand for export is shrinking.
Summing up: The hype created by the media on the incident is uncalled for and unfortunate. The Minister had no business to interfere in the matter. It is a negative message to foreign investment. Employees of other units faced with such a situation would now think in terms of agitating. Employers of units which want to retrench employees may plan innovative methods to achieve their objective.
Now consider the following:
· Each day thousands of workers are being removed from work ( mostly without any retrenchment compensation ) in the unorganized and even organized sectors in Delhi alone. If we take the country as a whole the figure would go up to a much higher level. Then what is that so special about the Jet incident, to make it appear as a national calamity.
· The employees of Jet who were retrenched, mostly belong to middle class and upper middle class. Was that the reason for the hoopla in the media. In any case most of the retrenched would not starve ( and many would get alternative jobs ), which is not the case of many of the workers removed from service everyday in the unorganized sector.
· Raj Thackery’s agitations so far were confined to protecting the interests of Maharashtrians. In this instance not even 10% of those affected were Maharashtrains. But why should he lose an opportunity when it is the retrenched employees who sought his help. Now others would also seek his help, giving him legitimacy not due to him.
· The unfortunate intervention of the Civil Aviation Minister ( though denied by him ) would encourage workers in other industries to approach their own respective Ministers for similar intervention ( and managements would be in a dilemma ).
And then there are larger and long term issues, such as:
· Industrial establishments cannot retrench workers without the approval of the Government. And Governments have been chary of giving such approval ( Between 1947 and now only in 100 or a few more cases approval was given ). This led to managements of industrial enterprises engaging contract labour directly or through contractors, whose services could be dispensed with straightaway, i.e., without the approval of Government.
· With technology upgradation being a continuous process and newer and newer machines being developed requiring less and less workforce, many a company decided not to modernize since the surplus workers cannot be retrenched, a loss to the company and the country.
· It is the same case with small scale industries. Many of the benefits allowed by Government would not be available if the small scale units go beyond a size stipulated by Government. Hence instead of expanding, managements of such enterprises started setting up new units for manufacture of same products, thereby the country being deprived of economy of scale of operation of such units..
· Requirement level of work force of any enterprise would go on changing, depending on several factors, such as, recession or speedy growth in the economy, the demand for goods / services of each enterprise at any time, competition, both internal and external, newer products with better value for customer being introduced, newer technology making obsolete existing type of goods and services, etc.,
· The incident dealt with in this note cannot be considered in isolation. There is economic melt-down. Airlines are functioning with low occupancy. Demand for export is shrinking.
Summing up: The hype created by the media on the incident is uncalled for and unfortunate. The Minister had no business to interfere in the matter. It is a negative message to foreign investment. Employees of other units faced with such a situation would now think in terms of agitating. Employers of units which want to retrench employees may plan innovative methods to achieve their objective.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Caricatures
Male Chauvinist Pig ( MCP ) ( Forgive them, Oh, Lord, for they do not know who they are )
This specie unfortunately abound this wonderful earth, though they masquerade their male supremacy theme and the traits accompanying such a belief. And if anybody labels them with the epithet of MCP, the MCP would get agitated and would trot out any number of reasons for treating men/boys and women / girls differently.
‘This has been the tradition, for eons this has been the position and the same has worked well, all follow this dictum, it has the stamp of approval of society and family and elders, that women accept their role happily and willingly, it has worked well for millennia, our sacred books have set out this pattern, our sages have said, etc., would be trotted out by those defending themselves against the label of MCP. Otherwise, we would also become decadent like the West. Look what happened to our friend’s family when the girl there was given full freedom. She married and divorced and then started living with a man without first marrying him. If the girl is allowed to be too modern and independent, it will bring stigma to our family, boys would shun marrying her, parents of boys would not positively respond to our proposal, too much of freedom would go into her head, later her marriage will be on the rocks, etc.,
Man and woman are different, not merely in physical structure but psychologically also. There are assigned roles for both in the family and society. Breaking that delineation would be no good for the individual, family and society. In any case my wife and daughter are content with the current position. So why change it. So and so forth.’
Most of the sacred books have not said so. In any case one should not be surprised if this or that sage had said so because many of them were out and out MCPs.
‘ Equality in every respect between man / boy and woman / girl’ as a concept most of the people would agree, more so in these days, when they find that quietly woman / girl has upstaged MCPs. But they are wary. And hence they adopt all tricks of the trade to place obstacles in this approach further progressing. Divorce, revealing dress, late marriage, deciding to have children later or not at all having children, frequent change of jobs, having male friends, asserting their position and expressing their views candidly in the family conversation, occasional drinking / smoking, asserting independence, etc., are quoted to justify why they should be reigned. To the question why can’t woman / girl do whatever has been said above when man / boy can do it, sheepish and lame answers are adduced.
Fundamentalist Under Skin ( FUS )
( Masquerade as they are not )
This is a sub specie of Fundamentalist. In appearance FUS masquerades his beliefs as symbols of the religion he belongs to would not be apparent. They are more like tiger in lamb clothing. They don’t come out open easily with their convictions on the subject and hence one would have to draw them out either by leading questions or by pretending as one having sympathy or agreement with the his fundamentalist ideas. Presto, then the out pouring begins. They all selectively quote scriptures. They would never discuss the subject. Rational arguments are brushed aside. They would only argue and would get agitated very quickly. Though they all claim to be religionists, the fact is that they are too far distanced from their religious teachings because all religions preach peace and peaceful co-existence. Tit for tat results in yet another tit for tat. And then the chain of unfortunate events happen. This enables the FUS to pick up a link in the chain of events and then develop his arguments on why the other side is wrong and had created the trouble. The danger is that this specie is multiplying like rats and there lies the danger not only for the present but also for the times to come. They inculcate their beliefs in their progenies.
This specie unfortunately abound this wonderful earth, though they masquerade their male supremacy theme and the traits accompanying such a belief. And if anybody labels them with the epithet of MCP, the MCP would get agitated and would trot out any number of reasons for treating men/boys and women / girls differently.
‘This has been the tradition, for eons this has been the position and the same has worked well, all follow this dictum, it has the stamp of approval of society and family and elders, that women accept their role happily and willingly, it has worked well for millennia, our sacred books have set out this pattern, our sages have said, etc., would be trotted out by those defending themselves against the label of MCP. Otherwise, we would also become decadent like the West. Look what happened to our friend’s family when the girl there was given full freedom. She married and divorced and then started living with a man without first marrying him. If the girl is allowed to be too modern and independent, it will bring stigma to our family, boys would shun marrying her, parents of boys would not positively respond to our proposal, too much of freedom would go into her head, later her marriage will be on the rocks, etc.,
Man and woman are different, not merely in physical structure but psychologically also. There are assigned roles for both in the family and society. Breaking that delineation would be no good for the individual, family and society. In any case my wife and daughter are content with the current position. So why change it. So and so forth.’
Most of the sacred books have not said so. In any case one should not be surprised if this or that sage had said so because many of them were out and out MCPs.
‘ Equality in every respect between man / boy and woman / girl’ as a concept most of the people would agree, more so in these days, when they find that quietly woman / girl has upstaged MCPs. But they are wary. And hence they adopt all tricks of the trade to place obstacles in this approach further progressing. Divorce, revealing dress, late marriage, deciding to have children later or not at all having children, frequent change of jobs, having male friends, asserting their position and expressing their views candidly in the family conversation, occasional drinking / smoking, asserting independence, etc., are quoted to justify why they should be reigned. To the question why can’t woman / girl do whatever has been said above when man / boy can do it, sheepish and lame answers are adduced.
Fundamentalist Under Skin ( FUS )
( Masquerade as they are not )
This is a sub specie of Fundamentalist. In appearance FUS masquerades his beliefs as symbols of the religion he belongs to would not be apparent. They are more like tiger in lamb clothing. They don’t come out open easily with their convictions on the subject and hence one would have to draw them out either by leading questions or by pretending as one having sympathy or agreement with the his fundamentalist ideas. Presto, then the out pouring begins. They all selectively quote scriptures. They would never discuss the subject. Rational arguments are brushed aside. They would only argue and would get agitated very quickly. Though they all claim to be religionists, the fact is that they are too far distanced from their religious teachings because all religions preach peace and peaceful co-existence. Tit for tat results in yet another tit for tat. And then the chain of unfortunate events happen. This enables the FUS to pick up a link in the chain of events and then develop his arguments on why the other side is wrong and had created the trouble. The danger is that this specie is multiplying like rats and there lies the danger not only for the present but also for the times to come. They inculcate their beliefs in their progenies.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Caricatures
13.God men: ( Their existence is proof of the gullibility of human beings )
Trade marks: Flowing beard, long mane or perpetually shaved head, Hindu religious mark on the forehead, loose shirt and dhoti, preferably ochre coloured or white. Wooden or leather sandals. Since public these days accept their luxurious living, can be seen traveling in upper end car or staying in luxury hotels, etc., In short he should stand apart in a crowd and more so while flying.
Functioning style: Rudimentary knowledge of magic, ability to speak for hours without dozing off, not getting ruffled when difficult or awkward questions are posed, ability to quote from scriptures of own religion, mildly ridiculing customs and practices of other religions, never quoting approvingly other religions, neatly side tracking issues, sati, child marriage, caste system, etc., never criticizing cum-patriots, i.e., other god men of same religion, etc.,
To be shunned in public: Smoking, drinking, eating non-vegetarian food, speaking in loud voice, making lewd remarks, ogling at female specie, making disparaging comments about other religions or comrades of the religion to which the God man belongs.
Private life: Safely guarded secret, more so in respect of matters related to income and wealth.
Essential requirements: A few acolytes, both Indian and foreigner, and followers of money bags variety / politicians / cine stars. Rudimentary knowledge of own religion and scriptures. At the same time able to quote from religious stories. Only superficial understanding of other religions which in essence means absolute ignorance of other religions. Occasional traveling abroad is a must. Having followers abroad increases the aura in the domestic turf.
Nom de plume: A new name like Swami Bhoga varjithanda. ( While the Godman selects his own acronym, he never says so in the public. It is the job of disciples to propagate the name. It is sort of safety belt. If any snoopy journalist questions him on the same, the Godman can shrug it off indicating that name is not important and in any case it is the name given by his followers).
Demeanour: Poor and wretched are suffering on account of their karma. My giving money to them by way of relief is going against their karma. Mingle with wretched only when there is a photographer around.
Summing up: Because of the gullibility of human beings, in the recent times this specie has been proliferating. And gauging by the mood of the public, it is safe to assume that there is opening for more such men.
**
15.Male Chauvinist Pig ( MCP ) ( Forgive them, Oh, Lord, for they do not know who they are )
Both species unfortunately abound this wonderful earth. Most of my friends and relatives fall in both the categories, though they masquerade these traits and if I label them with these epithets, I would be subject to all type of name calling, if not physically abused. I am taking that risk in the name of truth.
MCP: ‘This has been the tradition, for eons this has been the position and the same has worked well, all follow this dictum, it has the stamp of approval of society and family and elders, that women accept their role happily and willingly, it has worked well for millennia, our sacred books have set out this pattern, our sages have said, etc., would be trotted out by those defending themselves against the label of MCP. Otherwise, we would also become decadent like the West. Look what happened to our friend’s family when the girl there was given full freedom, it will bring stigma to our family, boys would shun marrying her, parents of boys would not positively respond to our proposal, too much of freedom would go into her head, later her marriage will be on the rocks, etc.,
Man and woman are different, not merely in physical structure but psychologically also. There are assigned roles for both in the family and society. Breaking that delineation would be no good for the individual, family and society. In any case my wife and daughter are content with the current position. So why change it. So and so forth.’
Most of the sacred books have not said so. In any case one should not be surprised if this or that sage had said so because many of them were out and out MCPs.
‘ Equality in every respect between man / boy and woman / girl’ as a concept most of the people would agree, more so in these days, when they find that quietly woman / girl has upstaged MCPs. But they are wary. And hence they adopt all tricks of the trade to place obstacles in this approach further progressing. Divorce, revealing dress, late marriage, deciding to have children later or not at all having children, frequent change of jobs, having male friends, asserting their position and expressing their views candidly in the family conversation, occasional drinking / smoking, asserting independence, etc., are quoted to justify why they should be reigned. To the question why can’t woman / girl do whatever has been said above when man / boy can do it, sheepish and lame answers are adduced.
Trade marks: Flowing beard, long mane or perpetually shaved head, Hindu religious mark on the forehead, loose shirt and dhoti, preferably ochre coloured or white. Wooden or leather sandals. Since public these days accept their luxurious living, can be seen traveling in upper end car or staying in luxury hotels, etc., In short he should stand apart in a crowd and more so while flying.
Functioning style: Rudimentary knowledge of magic, ability to speak for hours without dozing off, not getting ruffled when difficult or awkward questions are posed, ability to quote from scriptures of own religion, mildly ridiculing customs and practices of other religions, never quoting approvingly other religions, neatly side tracking issues, sati, child marriage, caste system, etc., never criticizing cum-patriots, i.e., other god men of same religion, etc.,
To be shunned in public: Smoking, drinking, eating non-vegetarian food, speaking in loud voice, making lewd remarks, ogling at female specie, making disparaging comments about other religions or comrades of the religion to which the God man belongs.
Private life: Safely guarded secret, more so in respect of matters related to income and wealth.
Essential requirements: A few acolytes, both Indian and foreigner, and followers of money bags variety / politicians / cine stars. Rudimentary knowledge of own religion and scriptures. At the same time able to quote from religious stories. Only superficial understanding of other religions which in essence means absolute ignorance of other religions. Occasional traveling abroad is a must. Having followers abroad increases the aura in the domestic turf.
Nom de plume: A new name like Swami Bhoga varjithanda. ( While the Godman selects his own acronym, he never says so in the public. It is the job of disciples to propagate the name. It is sort of safety belt. If any snoopy journalist questions him on the same, the Godman can shrug it off indicating that name is not important and in any case it is the name given by his followers).
Demeanour: Poor and wretched are suffering on account of their karma. My giving money to them by way of relief is going against their karma. Mingle with wretched only when there is a photographer around.
Summing up: Because of the gullibility of human beings, in the recent times this specie has been proliferating. And gauging by the mood of the public, it is safe to assume that there is opening for more such men.
**
15.Male Chauvinist Pig ( MCP ) ( Forgive them, Oh, Lord, for they do not know who they are )
Both species unfortunately abound this wonderful earth. Most of my friends and relatives fall in both the categories, though they masquerade these traits and if I label them with these epithets, I would be subject to all type of name calling, if not physically abused. I am taking that risk in the name of truth.
MCP: ‘This has been the tradition, for eons this has been the position and the same has worked well, all follow this dictum, it has the stamp of approval of society and family and elders, that women accept their role happily and willingly, it has worked well for millennia, our sacred books have set out this pattern, our sages have said, etc., would be trotted out by those defending themselves against the label of MCP. Otherwise, we would also become decadent like the West. Look what happened to our friend’s family when the girl there was given full freedom, it will bring stigma to our family, boys would shun marrying her, parents of boys would not positively respond to our proposal, too much of freedom would go into her head, later her marriage will be on the rocks, etc.,
Man and woman are different, not merely in physical structure but psychologically also. There are assigned roles for both in the family and society. Breaking that delineation would be no good for the individual, family and society. In any case my wife and daughter are content with the current position. So why change it. So and so forth.’
Most of the sacred books have not said so. In any case one should not be surprised if this or that sage had said so because many of them were out and out MCPs.
‘ Equality in every respect between man / boy and woman / girl’ as a concept most of the people would agree, more so in these days, when they find that quietly woman / girl has upstaged MCPs. But they are wary. And hence they adopt all tricks of the trade to place obstacles in this approach further progressing. Divorce, revealing dress, late marriage, deciding to have children later or not at all having children, frequent change of jobs, having male friends, asserting their position and expressing their views candidly in the family conversation, occasional drinking / smoking, asserting independence, etc., are quoted to justify why they should be reigned. To the question why can’t woman / girl do whatever has been said above when man / boy can do it, sheepish and lame answers are adduced.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Caricatures
Legal profession ( necessary evil )
It must have been a God intended accident ( to convey the truth ) that there is only minor difference between the spellings of ‘lawyer ‘ and ‘ liar ‘ and most Indians pronounce both the words in the same way. Similarly, it is to hoodwink the honest citizens that the saying ‘ lawyers are there to assist the court ‘ has been coined, when in actual fact it is the duty of the lawyer to his client to mislead and confuse the court as much as possible. They call a ten thousand word document as ‘ brief.’ They wear a most unsuited dress for Indian prickly weather, i.e., a long black coat and they address the Bench as ‘ Your Honour, ‘ both anachronisms they loathe to dispense with, contrary to their averments.
The really capable ones of their lot not only confuse the Bench but also the client. After hearing their espousal of the cases, their clients, who may be murderers, also start thinking in terms of their being innocent. Win or lose, their fee is assured. When they lose, they can’t honestly admit to their clients that they have done a really bad job. ‘ the judge has been bought,’ ‘ the judge is not
strong on legal points ‘ ‘ there is some influence at play, ‘ etc., are trotted out to give themselves a clean chit and then to assure the client they would say, ‘ but don’t worry. We will appeal.’
They all talk of reforming the system and yet they have not done anything about it. How can they. That would ultimately affect their income.
With the number of laws in the country continuously increasing, propensity of people going to court being on the ascendancy, this species has a bright future, though the same cannot be said about their clients.
**
11. Medical profession ( apothecary, at a cost, curing one set of ills to create another set of ills )
Hippocratic Oath ( stating obligations and proper conduct of physicians, taken by those beginning medical practice ), duly framed, adorn the walls many a doctor to convince the patients about the sincerity and dedication of the doctor, just as the politicians have the photo of Gandhiji on the wall of the sitting room. The countenance of most of the apothecaries is often grim, giving no reassurance to the patient. Doctors are to give relief to patients from actual perceived notion of illness. For that a friendly smile, a warm approach and confidence building chit chat, essential ingredients, are expected from doctors. It is possible that doctors put on this mask so that the patient takes them seriously.
Doctors are generally wonderful chaps, so long as you don’t have to go to them for treatment. A cold which nature would cure in seven days, a doctor would cure in a week with medicines. Doctors are also the best illustrations of the contradictions in Indian psyche. Doctors say they want to cure illness and make people healthy. But if all become healthy there would be no jobs for doctors. But then God has been kind to this species. People eat, drink, live in such a way, that they are prone to some ailment or other frequently. Then there is the mystery of apple. ‘ An apple a day keeps the doctor away ‘ is the saying. Instead of contradicting the saying, doctors somehow managed to ensure that apple is not a favourite fruit of Indians. There is a bright future for the lads who opt for this profession, since the increase in the intake of junk foods, less exercise, less sleep, long hours of work, watching the Idiot Box for hours, etc., would ensure acceleration of the number of people with this or that ailment frequently requiring the help of doctors. The only downside is that the
proposal shelved so far of doctors doing a stint in villages may become a reality.
How come that Hippocratic ( in the oath mentioned in the beginning ) and hypocrisy sound similar.
**
12. Housewife ( Balancing act? A trapeze artist or juggler is nowhere near a housewife )
Exaggeration? No. Consider the following:
· Household budget approved by the husband, after much discussion and hassle , where the prowess of house wife in exaggerating and underplaying nuances involved would be a lessen for lawyers, has been, according to the wife, stand still or limbo for ages whereas the prices of most of the house hold goods and services are perennially up and up. There is never a downward movement as in the case of stock market. The lord of the house says that according to sage from Sivaganga inflation has been up by only.2%. It is an uphill task to convince the lord and master that shopkeepers don’t function based on the yardstick of Government or the wisdom of the sage. And tomorrow when the inflation rate according to Government has gone down, shopkeepers are not going to reduce the prices. ‘ You demand more money for household expenses when inflation level is up but not prepared to reduce the budget when the opposite happens’ so says the hubby man. Now how to explain to him that shopkeepers don’t buy what government says, but we have to buy what we need irrespective o the price line.
· The junior, who is only 13, seems to grow each day, because his dresses become tight or short within six months of buying, requiring new purchases
· And damn the fashion in the dresses of girls. ‘ How can I wear this old dress, wails 15 year old daughter, ‘ when it is out of fashion,’ though the dress was bought only 6 months back.
· And the cell phone bills of both the kids are increasing continuously, though cell phone companies say that the rates are being brought down continuously. Further, restrain and rebuke to cut down cell phone calls never work with the kids these days, since they take the same as their fundamental right.
· The kids say that the in thing these days is to eat out once a fortnight with their cronies. And the house wife and hubby take shock therapy pills before looking at the restaurant bills the kids give.
· Turnover of the servants and their perennial demand for more money and less working hours are two problems which, aware of the gravity of the issues, the hubby guy leaves the wife to handle taking a loftier stand that ‘ you are better in dealing with such mundane maters.’
· All the house wives have at one time or other solicited help of hubbies ( or hubbies had offered such help ) to manage the kitchen for a day. However, the disastrous results from the same had made wives to effectively bar husbands from the kitchen. And this sane decision meant that if a servant does not turn up for a day or two, it is the house-wife who had to manage the kitchen.
· Then there are other chores / expenses the lord and master of the house disapproves or label as unnecessary, too costly, etc., The house lady’s mother coming and staying for a month or so , fall in this category.
· The wife has to perforce raise the compound wall or do something to mar the view to the neighbouring house, which means expenses, when a new female form with abundant flesh where required, starts living in the adjacent house. That this is done for marital bliss and hence the expense should be outside the budget is something no husband is prepared to agree.
· That kitty party for the upward mobile middle class cats is part of forward march of civilization, though a truism, does never penetrate the mulish head of the hubby and hence the reasonable expenses incurred in such parties are frowned upon.
· Keeping up with the Joneses by purchasing occasionally or frequently higher priced and newer electronic items on the ground that there is value for money, though abundantly evident, is an issue which the husband shrugs off as if pampering a wayward child.
· Shopping. It is part of the make up of the women. It is there in her psyche. It is universal. And how can one come back empty handed after shopping. That would be ridiculous. While the purchasing part is enjoyable, it is not so while doing the explanation for purchase to the hubby man. Whatever reasons, may not be logical, are adduced by women folk for the purchase, men have the annoying habit of giving the impression that they are not convinced. When the housewives want to control the expenses and for which sacrifice much, the least that the men folk can do is to accept biological need of females to buy something or other frequently.
· Request of children for help in doing home work is cleverly and neatly side stepped by the master saying that ‘ Mummy is good at these things.’ And that means the wives have to often miss the most interesting and gripping serial on TV on the peccadilloes of mother in law – daughter in law syndrome.
· The most worrying factor for wives these days is the slow but steady increasing level of demand for their time to attend to various chores that they are not finding enough time daily for decent gossiping, which is the most important nourishing factor both body and soul.
· The above is the story of the full time house wife. Then imagine the hassle of the working wives.
**
13. Management professionals ( Self certified blue blooded human species )
With mushrooming of MBAs, it has become like the Hindu caste system. There are the Brahmins from the three top IIMs. Then there are Kshtriyas, Vaishyas and Sudras, the last coming out from all sorts of colleges, whose faculty consists of those lecturers or managers who could not make the grade in their careers.
Like the BA degree in earlier times, these days one can’t get a decent job higher than that of a clerk in an office unless this suffix is there. And managements of most of the badly managed
companies think that a few MBAs would turn the company around, when in fact abdication by the managements would atleast ensure that the companies would not sink. For such managements, with no hope of improving the bottom line or product quality, it is also a talking point with their biradari, i.e., we want to professionalise
and hence………..But the problem is that the Brahmin MBAs ask for starting salary of what Bush is getting with the indication that in five years time they hope to get the salary of CEO of Microsoft and in ten years time the post of Managing Director of the company. In most companies Heads of various Departments would not touch them with a barge pole. But they have to go by the wish of top management / owner. So they play every trick in the trade to see that these guys with a swollen heads are rejected at the interview or they quit a few months after joining. On the other side those Brahmins who are selected leave the companies at the earliest, noticing that the suited and booted higher managements / owners are running the companies as pan shops. The non Brahmin MBAs learn the tricks of the trade, the first step being what the seniors want to hear, followed by an understanding of the peccadilloes of the owners, the politics in the company and the art of survival. Most of them stay put in their jobs and merge with the crowd.
Positive side: Their market value for marriage is high. Negative side: IITians are slowly making in roads in their job markets. Universal trait: Masquerading their disdain towards other professionals.
***
14.Doctorates, i.e., Phd. ( They think there is a halo around their head; however till now nobody has seen it )
There are three types of Doctorates, as below:
· Those who toil under a Professor in preparing the dissertation of a new sub-subject under a major subject or discipline. Professors, having faced unruly students ( or say, hooligans ) in the classes, look upon this as a god sent opportunity to take revenge on the person who is doing the dissertation for the harassment they had gone through with the students. The unfortunate person is asked to revise his dissertation at least a dozen times, if not more. There is another problem here. In these days with every other Ravi, Rajiv and Pradeep taking Doctorate on one subject or another, the disciple is asked to take up some new esoteric subject like ‘sexual mores of Maya civilization’ or ‘the reason why politician is honest,’ etc., It is a universally unwritten law or custom that a person with Phd. is not entrusted with any assignment that has even remote relevance to the subject on which he had taken the doctorate. Probably this would have originated on account of the fact that the person with Phd would have a professori approach to the subject rather than a practical one, which means he would make a mess of the assignment given to him. These guys, after a few rejections, never mention their subjects or word the same vaguely while meeting prospective employers.
· With such subjects taken up for Doctorate, the moment prospective employers know about the subject, indicate politely ‘ regret.’ Hence they all end up in Universities as
lecturers. But they wisely keep mum on the subject of their Phd, lest the unruly students would have another weapon to ridicule the lecturers. Those who get the Doctorate by studying a subject are insufferable the moment they open their mouths to describe the subject on which they got doctorate. What a wag said aptly describes the position: ‘ The ancient scholars studied for their own improvement. Modern scholars study to impress others.’
· The above species have a good marriage market but not job market.
· In the second type falls people, mainly businessmen, who want to have a Doctorate to show off among their biradiris. By suitably rewarding the Professor under whom they are supposed to prepare the dissertation, the Professor is asked to prepare the dissertation. Then they give some endowment to the University so that as a quid pro quo the University grants them Doctorates. The recipients flaunt this honour through their visiting cards and letter heads.
· The third type is Honorary Doctorate given to persons for their supposedly laudable services rendered to the nation ( though even close acquaintances of many of them would not be able to recollect what those laudable services are ). It should be noted that by this yardstick every two bit politician can manage to get an honorary doctorate. There is a vested interest in Universities in granting such honours. They expect quid pro quo from the recipients, meaning a sizeable financial grant from the recipient of the Doctorate to be spent for such worthwhile causes as renovating and replacing the house and the furniture respectively in the house of the Vice Chancellor or for the visit of Vice Chancellor to US of A to study the changes to be made in managing the University. Bestowing such honours also enhances the prestige of the University, i.e., if such honorary doctorate is conferred on, say, Bill Gates or Bin Laden.
**
15.God men: ( Their existence is proof of the gullibility of human beings )
Trade marks: Flowing beard, long mane or perpetually shaved head, Hindu religious mark on the forehead, loose shirt and dhoti, preferably ochre coloured or white. Wooden or leather sandals. Since public these days accept their luxurious living, can be seen traveling in upper end car or staying in luxury hotels, etc., In short he should stand apart in a crowd and more so while flying.
Functioning style: Rudimentary knowledge of magic, ability to speak for hours without dozing off, not getting ruffled when difficult or awkward questions are posed, ability to quote from scriptures of own religion, mildly ridiculing customs and practices of other religions, never quoting approvingly other religions, neatly side tracking issues, sati, child marriage, caste system, etc., never criticizing cum-patriots, i.e., other god men of same religion, etc.,
To be shunned in public: Smoking, drinking, eating non-vegetarian food, speaking in loud voice, making lewd remarks, ogling at female specie, making disparaging comments about other religions or comrades of the religion to which the God man belongs.
Private life: Safely guarded secret, more so in respect of matters related to income and wealth.
Essential requirements: A few acolytes, both Indian and foreigner, and followers of money bags variety / politicians / cine stars. Rudimentary knowledge of own religion and scriptures. At the same time able to quote from religious stories. Only superficial understanding of other religions which in essence means absolute ignorance of other religions. Occasional traveling abroad is a must. Having followers abroad increases the aura in the domestic turf.
Nom de plume: A new name like Swami Bhoga varjithanda. ( While the Godman selects his own acronym, he never says so in the public. It is the job of disciples to propagate the name. It is sort of safety belt. If any snoopy journalist questions him on the same, the Godman can shrug it off indicating that name is not important and in any case it is the name given by his followers).
Demeanour: Poor and wretched are suffering on account of their karma. My giving money to them by way of relief is going against their karma. Mingle with wretched only when there is a photographer around.
Summing up: Because of the gullibility of human beings, in the recent times this specie has been proliferating. And gauging by the mood of the public, it is safe to assume that there is opening for more such men.
It must have been a God intended accident ( to convey the truth ) that there is only minor difference between the spellings of ‘lawyer ‘ and ‘ liar ‘ and most Indians pronounce both the words in the same way. Similarly, it is to hoodwink the honest citizens that the saying ‘ lawyers are there to assist the court ‘ has been coined, when in actual fact it is the duty of the lawyer to his client to mislead and confuse the court as much as possible. They call a ten thousand word document as ‘ brief.’ They wear a most unsuited dress for Indian prickly weather, i.e., a long black coat and they address the Bench as ‘ Your Honour, ‘ both anachronisms they loathe to dispense with, contrary to their averments.
The really capable ones of their lot not only confuse the Bench but also the client. After hearing their espousal of the cases, their clients, who may be murderers, also start thinking in terms of their being innocent. Win or lose, their fee is assured. When they lose, they can’t honestly admit to their clients that they have done a really bad job. ‘ the judge has been bought,’ ‘ the judge is not
strong on legal points ‘ ‘ there is some influence at play, ‘ etc., are trotted out to give themselves a clean chit and then to assure the client they would say, ‘ but don’t worry. We will appeal.’
They all talk of reforming the system and yet they have not done anything about it. How can they. That would ultimately affect their income.
With the number of laws in the country continuously increasing, propensity of people going to court being on the ascendancy, this species has a bright future, though the same cannot be said about their clients.
**
11. Medical profession ( apothecary, at a cost, curing one set of ills to create another set of ills )
Hippocratic Oath ( stating obligations and proper conduct of physicians, taken by those beginning medical practice ), duly framed, adorn the walls many a doctor to convince the patients about the sincerity and dedication of the doctor, just as the politicians have the photo of Gandhiji on the wall of the sitting room. The countenance of most of the apothecaries is often grim, giving no reassurance to the patient. Doctors are to give relief to patients from actual perceived notion of illness. For that a friendly smile, a warm approach and confidence building chit chat, essential ingredients, are expected from doctors. It is possible that doctors put on this mask so that the patient takes them seriously.
Doctors are generally wonderful chaps, so long as you don’t have to go to them for treatment. A cold which nature would cure in seven days, a doctor would cure in a week with medicines. Doctors are also the best illustrations of the contradictions in Indian psyche. Doctors say they want to cure illness and make people healthy. But if all become healthy there would be no jobs for doctors. But then God has been kind to this species. People eat, drink, live in such a way, that they are prone to some ailment or other frequently. Then there is the mystery of apple. ‘ An apple a day keeps the doctor away ‘ is the saying. Instead of contradicting the saying, doctors somehow managed to ensure that apple is not a favourite fruit of Indians. There is a bright future for the lads who opt for this profession, since the increase in the intake of junk foods, less exercise, less sleep, long hours of work, watching the Idiot Box for hours, etc., would ensure acceleration of the number of people with this or that ailment frequently requiring the help of doctors. The only downside is that the
proposal shelved so far of doctors doing a stint in villages may become a reality.
How come that Hippocratic ( in the oath mentioned in the beginning ) and hypocrisy sound similar.
**
12. Housewife ( Balancing act? A trapeze artist or juggler is nowhere near a housewife )
Exaggeration? No. Consider the following:
· Household budget approved by the husband, after much discussion and hassle , where the prowess of house wife in exaggerating and underplaying nuances involved would be a lessen for lawyers, has been, according to the wife, stand still or limbo for ages whereas the prices of most of the house hold goods and services are perennially up and up. There is never a downward movement as in the case of stock market. The lord of the house says that according to sage from Sivaganga inflation has been up by only.2%. It is an uphill task to convince the lord and master that shopkeepers don’t function based on the yardstick of Government or the wisdom of the sage. And tomorrow when the inflation rate according to Government has gone down, shopkeepers are not going to reduce the prices. ‘ You demand more money for household expenses when inflation level is up but not prepared to reduce the budget when the opposite happens’ so says the hubby man. Now how to explain to him that shopkeepers don’t buy what government says, but we have to buy what we need irrespective o the price line.
· The junior, who is only 13, seems to grow each day, because his dresses become tight or short within six months of buying, requiring new purchases
· And damn the fashion in the dresses of girls. ‘ How can I wear this old dress, wails 15 year old daughter, ‘ when it is out of fashion,’ though the dress was bought only 6 months back.
· And the cell phone bills of both the kids are increasing continuously, though cell phone companies say that the rates are being brought down continuously. Further, restrain and rebuke to cut down cell phone calls never work with the kids these days, since they take the same as their fundamental right.
· The kids say that the in thing these days is to eat out once a fortnight with their cronies. And the house wife and hubby take shock therapy pills before looking at the restaurant bills the kids give.
· Turnover of the servants and their perennial demand for more money and less working hours are two problems which, aware of the gravity of the issues, the hubby guy leaves the wife to handle taking a loftier stand that ‘ you are better in dealing with such mundane maters.’
· All the house wives have at one time or other solicited help of hubbies ( or hubbies had offered such help ) to manage the kitchen for a day. However, the disastrous results from the same had made wives to effectively bar husbands from the kitchen. And this sane decision meant that if a servant does not turn up for a day or two, it is the house-wife who had to manage the kitchen.
· Then there are other chores / expenses the lord and master of the house disapproves or label as unnecessary, too costly, etc., The house lady’s mother coming and staying for a month or so , fall in this category.
· The wife has to perforce raise the compound wall or do something to mar the view to the neighbouring house, which means expenses, when a new female form with abundant flesh where required, starts living in the adjacent house. That this is done for marital bliss and hence the expense should be outside the budget is something no husband is prepared to agree.
· That kitty party for the upward mobile middle class cats is part of forward march of civilization, though a truism, does never penetrate the mulish head of the hubby and hence the reasonable expenses incurred in such parties are frowned upon.
· Keeping up with the Joneses by purchasing occasionally or frequently higher priced and newer electronic items on the ground that there is value for money, though abundantly evident, is an issue which the husband shrugs off as if pampering a wayward child.
· Shopping. It is part of the make up of the women. It is there in her psyche. It is universal. And how can one come back empty handed after shopping. That would be ridiculous. While the purchasing part is enjoyable, it is not so while doing the explanation for purchase to the hubby man. Whatever reasons, may not be logical, are adduced by women folk for the purchase, men have the annoying habit of giving the impression that they are not convinced. When the housewives want to control the expenses and for which sacrifice much, the least that the men folk can do is to accept biological need of females to buy something or other frequently.
· Request of children for help in doing home work is cleverly and neatly side stepped by the master saying that ‘ Mummy is good at these things.’ And that means the wives have to often miss the most interesting and gripping serial on TV on the peccadilloes of mother in law – daughter in law syndrome.
· The most worrying factor for wives these days is the slow but steady increasing level of demand for their time to attend to various chores that they are not finding enough time daily for decent gossiping, which is the most important nourishing factor both body and soul.
· The above is the story of the full time house wife. Then imagine the hassle of the working wives.
**
13. Management professionals ( Self certified blue blooded human species )
With mushrooming of MBAs, it has become like the Hindu caste system. There are the Brahmins from the three top IIMs. Then there are Kshtriyas, Vaishyas and Sudras, the last coming out from all sorts of colleges, whose faculty consists of those lecturers or managers who could not make the grade in their careers.
Like the BA degree in earlier times, these days one can’t get a decent job higher than that of a clerk in an office unless this suffix is there. And managements of most of the badly managed
companies think that a few MBAs would turn the company around, when in fact abdication by the managements would atleast ensure that the companies would not sink. For such managements, with no hope of improving the bottom line or product quality, it is also a talking point with their biradari, i.e., we want to professionalise
and hence………..But the problem is that the Brahmin MBAs ask for starting salary of what Bush is getting with the indication that in five years time they hope to get the salary of CEO of Microsoft and in ten years time the post of Managing Director of the company. In most companies Heads of various Departments would not touch them with a barge pole. But they have to go by the wish of top management / owner. So they play every trick in the trade to see that these guys with a swollen heads are rejected at the interview or they quit a few months after joining. On the other side those Brahmins who are selected leave the companies at the earliest, noticing that the suited and booted higher managements / owners are running the companies as pan shops. The non Brahmin MBAs learn the tricks of the trade, the first step being what the seniors want to hear, followed by an understanding of the peccadilloes of the owners, the politics in the company and the art of survival. Most of them stay put in their jobs and merge with the crowd.
Positive side: Their market value for marriage is high. Negative side: IITians are slowly making in roads in their job markets. Universal trait: Masquerading their disdain towards other professionals.
***
14.Doctorates, i.e., Phd. ( They think there is a halo around their head; however till now nobody has seen it )
There are three types of Doctorates, as below:
· Those who toil under a Professor in preparing the dissertation of a new sub-subject under a major subject or discipline. Professors, having faced unruly students ( or say, hooligans ) in the classes, look upon this as a god sent opportunity to take revenge on the person who is doing the dissertation for the harassment they had gone through with the students. The unfortunate person is asked to revise his dissertation at least a dozen times, if not more. There is another problem here. In these days with every other Ravi, Rajiv and Pradeep taking Doctorate on one subject or another, the disciple is asked to take up some new esoteric subject like ‘sexual mores of Maya civilization’ or ‘the reason why politician is honest,’ etc., It is a universally unwritten law or custom that a person with Phd. is not entrusted with any assignment that has even remote relevance to the subject on which he had taken the doctorate. Probably this would have originated on account of the fact that the person with Phd would have a professori approach to the subject rather than a practical one, which means he would make a mess of the assignment given to him. These guys, after a few rejections, never mention their subjects or word the same vaguely while meeting prospective employers.
· With such subjects taken up for Doctorate, the moment prospective employers know about the subject, indicate politely ‘ regret.’ Hence they all end up in Universities as
lecturers. But they wisely keep mum on the subject of their Phd, lest the unruly students would have another weapon to ridicule the lecturers. Those who get the Doctorate by studying a subject are insufferable the moment they open their mouths to describe the subject on which they got doctorate. What a wag said aptly describes the position: ‘ The ancient scholars studied for their own improvement. Modern scholars study to impress others.’
· The above species have a good marriage market but not job market.
· In the second type falls people, mainly businessmen, who want to have a Doctorate to show off among their biradiris. By suitably rewarding the Professor under whom they are supposed to prepare the dissertation, the Professor is asked to prepare the dissertation. Then they give some endowment to the University so that as a quid pro quo the University grants them Doctorates. The recipients flaunt this honour through their visiting cards and letter heads.
· The third type is Honorary Doctorate given to persons for their supposedly laudable services rendered to the nation ( though even close acquaintances of many of them would not be able to recollect what those laudable services are ). It should be noted that by this yardstick every two bit politician can manage to get an honorary doctorate. There is a vested interest in Universities in granting such honours. They expect quid pro quo from the recipients, meaning a sizeable financial grant from the recipient of the Doctorate to be spent for such worthwhile causes as renovating and replacing the house and the furniture respectively in the house of the Vice Chancellor or for the visit of Vice Chancellor to US of A to study the changes to be made in managing the University. Bestowing such honours also enhances the prestige of the University, i.e., if such honorary doctorate is conferred on, say, Bill Gates or Bin Laden.
**
15.God men: ( Their existence is proof of the gullibility of human beings )
Trade marks: Flowing beard, long mane or perpetually shaved head, Hindu religious mark on the forehead, loose shirt and dhoti, preferably ochre coloured or white. Wooden or leather sandals. Since public these days accept their luxurious living, can be seen traveling in upper end car or staying in luxury hotels, etc., In short he should stand apart in a crowd and more so while flying.
Functioning style: Rudimentary knowledge of magic, ability to speak for hours without dozing off, not getting ruffled when difficult or awkward questions are posed, ability to quote from scriptures of own religion, mildly ridiculing customs and practices of other religions, never quoting approvingly other religions, neatly side tracking issues, sati, child marriage, caste system, etc., never criticizing cum-patriots, i.e., other god men of same religion, etc.,
To be shunned in public: Smoking, drinking, eating non-vegetarian food, speaking in loud voice, making lewd remarks, ogling at female specie, making disparaging comments about other religions or comrades of the religion to which the God man belongs.
Private life: Safely guarded secret, more so in respect of matters related to income and wealth.
Essential requirements: A few acolytes, both Indian and foreigner, and followers of money bags variety / politicians / cine stars. Rudimentary knowledge of own religion and scriptures. At the same time able to quote from religious stories. Only superficial understanding of other religions which in essence means absolute ignorance of other religions. Occasional traveling abroad is a must. Having followers abroad increases the aura in the domestic turf.
Nom de plume: A new name like Swami Bhoga varjithanda. ( While the Godman selects his own acronym, he never says so in the public. It is the job of disciples to propagate the name. It is sort of safety belt. If any snoopy journalist questions him on the same, the Godman can shrug it off indicating that name is not important and in any case it is the name given by his followers).
Demeanour: Poor and wretched are suffering on account of their karma. My giving money to them by way of relief is going against their karma. Mingle with wretched only when there is a photographer around.
Summing up: Because of the gullibility of human beings, in the recent times this specie has been proliferating. And gauging by the mood of the public, it is safe to assume that there is opening for more such men.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Caricature - Govt. Bureaucracy
Government ( elephant and five blind men syndrome )
From the time Romans started Government to manage the country to the present ( and probably future also ), nobody has been able to define adequately what Government is, though everybody knows what Government is. Government is power, babus, administering laws and rules, affect the lives of citizens in various ways, etc., In a nutshell it is an amorphous body which is supposed to look after the interests of citizens, though most citizens would question this hypothesis. There is one thing common with all governments – citizens everywhere, be it a Dane or Chinese or Indian, have an aversion to their government. The less contact between government and its populace, the more comfortable the latter are. Yet citizens realize that they have to have a government. So there is the perennial quandary for the citizens in deciding how much of government they should have. Yet there is another characteristic of government which is universal and in perpetual and that is the propensity for governments to become bigger and bigger, though all the time governments aver that they want to downsize government. Having spread the tentacles far and wide and inclination to spread it still wider, the frequent affirmations of governments to take steps to mind its business rather than that of citizens’ affairs, sound hollow. And hence citizens take this as a ritual rather than seriously.
**
3. Bureaucracy (Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient )
· Bureaucrat’s lament: “ How did they ever get permission to build the world.’
· It is a poor bureaucrat who can’t stall a good idea until even its sponsor is relieved to see it dead and officially buried.
· The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases of bureaucrat.
· A bureaucrat’s idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of every paper before he destroys the original.
· Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when quo has lost its status.
· Spread the bureaucrats around the organization and everything works fine but put them in a heap and everything stinks. The point is we need bureaucracy, but only to a certain extent.
· The problem, with bureaucracy is that it can’t respond rapidly to change. Its motto is “ Ready, aim, aim, aim………..it just can’t pull the trigger.”
· Bureaucracy and light are poles apart. Light travels at the fastest speed and bureaucracy the opposite.
· Bureaucracy is based on a willingness either to pass the buck or to spend it.
· Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
**
From the time Romans started Government to manage the country to the present ( and probably future also ), nobody has been able to define adequately what Government is, though everybody knows what Government is. Government is power, babus, administering laws and rules, affect the lives of citizens in various ways, etc., In a nutshell it is an amorphous body which is supposed to look after the interests of citizens, though most citizens would question this hypothesis. There is one thing common with all governments – citizens everywhere, be it a Dane or Chinese or Indian, have an aversion to their government. The less contact between government and its populace, the more comfortable the latter are. Yet citizens realize that they have to have a government. So there is the perennial quandary for the citizens in deciding how much of government they should have. Yet there is another characteristic of government which is universal and in perpetual and that is the propensity for governments to become bigger and bigger, though all the time governments aver that they want to downsize government. Having spread the tentacles far and wide and inclination to spread it still wider, the frequent affirmations of governments to take steps to mind its business rather than that of citizens’ affairs, sound hollow. And hence citizens take this as a ritual rather than seriously.
**
3. Bureaucracy (Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient )
· Bureaucrat’s lament: “ How did they ever get permission to build the world.’
· It is a poor bureaucrat who can’t stall a good idea until even its sponsor is relieved to see it dead and officially buried.
· The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases of bureaucrat.
· A bureaucrat’s idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of every paper before he destroys the original.
· Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when quo has lost its status.
· Spread the bureaucrats around the organization and everything works fine but put them in a heap and everything stinks. The point is we need bureaucracy, but only to a certain extent.
· The problem, with bureaucracy is that it can’t respond rapidly to change. Its motto is “ Ready, aim, aim, aim………..it just can’t pull the trigger.”
· Bureaucracy and light are poles apart. Light travels at the fastest speed and bureaucracy the opposite.
· Bureaucracy is based on a willingness either to pass the buck or to spend it.
· Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
**
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Caricature - Businessmen
Businessmen ( A breed whose self perception and public perception of them are poles apart )
( Exceptions, i.e., those who manage business competently and with ethics, are exempted from this write up. It is about the run of the mill businessmen who abound this country ).
Traits
1. At a young age when they start business or are inducted to the business managed by their fathers, the first thing they discern or told by their fathers is that it is more important to learn the tricks of the trade rather than the trade itself.
2. They are par excellent copy cats and hence emulate the style of managing business of their peers / parents. And the style of managing the business is:
· Not to trust totally anybody working under them, though their demeanour will effectively camouflage this trait.
· Do not fully confide with people working under them.
· Aware of the fact that loyalty of employees continue to be there only till they get better offers.
· They give only that much information to employees which serves their purpose.
· Cross checking / spying on their employees and rivals will be part and parcel of running business.
· Put on openness and friendship should be the hall marks of their interface with rivals and competitors. At the same time they would be evasive on matters of competitive interest.
· They don’t mix up business and personal accounts. They quickly learn to ensure that both accounts are above suspicion of tax men. Ensure that as much as possible personal expenses are booked to the company, suitably camouflaging the action. They would have a good sounding on such matters from an old accounts guy, preferably not an employee of the company.
· Firmly believes that generation of money in number two account ( euphemistically referred to by the others as black money - a term they never use ) is absolutely vital and has to be taken as the birthright. Details of how much is being generated at specified periods, where it is parked, etc., are confined to the brain only and not to be shared with anybody including the wife and progenies, otherwise their demand level for cash would go up continuously. And nothing is put on papers. Countries other than Switzerland also park such money had enabled them to pick and choose where to hoard. They master at the earliest, this part of business .
· The charade of businessmen is that number two account has to be created to pay bribes to politicians and bureaucracy. That masquerade is necessary to put an appearance that they have to per force create such money. Actually such expenses are booked to the business and how this can be done is the elementary lessen all accountants learn.
· They would not like to be seen traveling in the same car for more than two years and three months. If this period exceeds they would be perceived by other businessmen as having not arrived.
· They make two or three trips abroad annually, ostensibly for business purposes, irrespective of the fact whether they spend time ogling at girls who have an aversion for draping them or other nocturnal activities. For the latter activity many keep an apartment abroad, though the explanation is that this for them to stay while abroad. Allowing politicians/bureaucrats and their kith and kin to use the apartment would be of immense help when seeking favours from them.
· Each one of them become disciple of one of the latest Gurus. However, they ensure that wild demands for cash of the Gurus are circumvented or booked as business expenses.
· To the extent possible expenses of self and family are booked as business expenses.
· They are adept in putting various masks of submissiveness and fulsome praise for politicians, admiration for bureaucrats, disdain for subordinates, equality with other businessmen, patriarch for family, etc.,
3..The businessmen watch with trepidation at the avalanche of economic reforms, particularly removal of licenses. It is the license Raj which propelled them to higher echelons of business ladder. However, they realize that to openly resist such reforms would get them bad name. To camouflage, the businessmen would leave no opportunity of welcoming the inexorable march on the reform front. At the same time they pray to God for some of the political parties which are inimical to such reforms, coming into power. And with their own biradiri they crib at what is taking place.
4. Some of the other hall marks of Indian businessmen:
· They shun reading anything other than related to business or politics. But then that is not the in thing. So they would have large almirahs in their sitting rooms of the houses ( and some even in their office rooms) containing a large number of books, unread, but dusted occasionally by the servants.
· By far they have no taste for fine arts. Yet they keep a tab on such activities, lest their ignorance becomes apparent in conversations with high and mighty in seminars and functions. The ‘fancy’ / patronage for arts is only of big names ( known / established names…..great value for conversation purposes ) and for page 3 of newspapers. Support to ‘ budding’/’aspiring’artists is a strict no, no.
.
· Remain apolitical ( except for the morbid fear of communists ) - who knows which party will come into power in the future
· They remain all the time with minor apprehension of family members who have stake in the company or even progenies maneuvering to take over the company from them.
· They mask their unconcern for workers and consumers
· They invest as little money as possible from their own purse, managing the large chunk from public and financial institutions, while fully retaining management of the company.
· Ego centric, ritual oriented, workaholic, simple dress and simple food in house amidst opulence
· Full of conviction that they are wizards in all areas / disciplines of business
· Prefer to be known as businessmen rather than industrialists – a case for psychological study.
· Admiration for white skinned businessmen camouflaged by disdain towards them
· To this species money and business constitute everything.
· In family run enterprises, the younger generation invariably gets inducted as Marketing / Product Manager for that future ‘ quote’/para in a (paid/sponsored) biographical article which typically goes like ‘……..The fact that ‘this’ species gets a ‘boot up’ as the next Director on the Board is another matter.
· Attending an annual ‘ knowledge session’ on how to run ‘family run’ enterprises – generally by a top global consultancy – at an exotic locale is the other name for annual extended family get together.
**
( Exceptions, i.e., those who manage business competently and with ethics, are exempted from this write up. It is about the run of the mill businessmen who abound this country ).
Traits
1. At a young age when they start business or are inducted to the business managed by their fathers, the first thing they discern or told by their fathers is that it is more important to learn the tricks of the trade rather than the trade itself.
2. They are par excellent copy cats and hence emulate the style of managing business of their peers / parents. And the style of managing the business is:
· Not to trust totally anybody working under them, though their demeanour will effectively camouflage this trait.
· Do not fully confide with people working under them.
· Aware of the fact that loyalty of employees continue to be there only till they get better offers.
· They give only that much information to employees which serves their purpose.
· Cross checking / spying on their employees and rivals will be part and parcel of running business.
· Put on openness and friendship should be the hall marks of their interface with rivals and competitors. At the same time they would be evasive on matters of competitive interest.
· They don’t mix up business and personal accounts. They quickly learn to ensure that both accounts are above suspicion of tax men. Ensure that as much as possible personal expenses are booked to the company, suitably camouflaging the action. They would have a good sounding on such matters from an old accounts guy, preferably not an employee of the company.
· Firmly believes that generation of money in number two account ( euphemistically referred to by the others as black money - a term they never use ) is absolutely vital and has to be taken as the birthright. Details of how much is being generated at specified periods, where it is parked, etc., are confined to the brain only and not to be shared with anybody including the wife and progenies, otherwise their demand level for cash would go up continuously. And nothing is put on papers. Countries other than Switzerland also park such money had enabled them to pick and choose where to hoard. They master at the earliest, this part of business .
· The charade of businessmen is that number two account has to be created to pay bribes to politicians and bureaucracy. That masquerade is necessary to put an appearance that they have to per force create such money. Actually such expenses are booked to the business and how this can be done is the elementary lessen all accountants learn.
· They would not like to be seen traveling in the same car for more than two years and three months. If this period exceeds they would be perceived by other businessmen as having not arrived.
· They make two or three trips abroad annually, ostensibly for business purposes, irrespective of the fact whether they spend time ogling at girls who have an aversion for draping them or other nocturnal activities. For the latter activity many keep an apartment abroad, though the explanation is that this for them to stay while abroad. Allowing politicians/bureaucrats and their kith and kin to use the apartment would be of immense help when seeking favours from them.
· Each one of them become disciple of one of the latest Gurus. However, they ensure that wild demands for cash of the Gurus are circumvented or booked as business expenses.
· To the extent possible expenses of self and family are booked as business expenses.
· They are adept in putting various masks of submissiveness and fulsome praise for politicians, admiration for bureaucrats, disdain for subordinates, equality with other businessmen, patriarch for family, etc.,
3..The businessmen watch with trepidation at the avalanche of economic reforms, particularly removal of licenses. It is the license Raj which propelled them to higher echelons of business ladder. However, they realize that to openly resist such reforms would get them bad name. To camouflage, the businessmen would leave no opportunity of welcoming the inexorable march on the reform front. At the same time they pray to God for some of the political parties which are inimical to such reforms, coming into power. And with their own biradiri they crib at what is taking place.
4. Some of the other hall marks of Indian businessmen:
· They shun reading anything other than related to business or politics. But then that is not the in thing. So they would have large almirahs in their sitting rooms of the houses ( and some even in their office rooms) containing a large number of books, unread, but dusted occasionally by the servants.
· By far they have no taste for fine arts. Yet they keep a tab on such activities, lest their ignorance becomes apparent in conversations with high and mighty in seminars and functions. The ‘fancy’ / patronage for arts is only of big names ( known / established names…..great value for conversation purposes ) and for page 3 of newspapers. Support to ‘ budding’/’aspiring’artists is a strict no, no.
.
· Remain apolitical ( except for the morbid fear of communists ) - who knows which party will come into power in the future
· They remain all the time with minor apprehension of family members who have stake in the company or even progenies maneuvering to take over the company from them.
· They mask their unconcern for workers and consumers
· They invest as little money as possible from their own purse, managing the large chunk from public and financial institutions, while fully retaining management of the company.
· Ego centric, ritual oriented, workaholic, simple dress and simple food in house amidst opulence
· Full of conviction that they are wizards in all areas / disciplines of business
· Prefer to be known as businessmen rather than industrialists – a case for psychological study.
· Admiration for white skinned businessmen camouflaged by disdain towards them
· To this species money and business constitute everything.
· In family run enterprises, the younger generation invariably gets inducted as Marketing / Product Manager for that future ‘ quote’/para in a (paid/sponsored) biographical article which typically goes like ‘……..The fact that ‘this’ species gets a ‘boot up’ as the next Director on the Board is another matter.
· Attending an annual ‘ knowledge session’ on how to run ‘family run’ enterprises – generally by a top global consultancy – at an exotic locale is the other name for annual extended family get together.
**
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