Politicians ( misunderstood mortals )
Simple people – alien to five star culture, be it hotels, cars or dress – more comfortable in their traditional dress, food and talking to their ilk, be it from the same party as that of his or from the opposition party – antennas finely tuned to earth level : what will appeal to voters, to party-men, to Prime Minister / leader of the party / dadas in the party - unlike the pundits ( economists / journalists / thinkers / bureaucracy ) Ministers know what makes people happy and that is goodies, irrespective of whether it is justified or that giving goodies will cost nation or economy – knows that visibility is important - even notoriety is a preferred choice than obscurity – has a love hate relationship with bureaucracy - has always difficulty in delineating party and Government work or interests - does not differentiate between own money and Government money while spending for self and family - is interested in economic development but would prefer if it is happening in his constituency or in his State atleast – extremely caste and regional conscious - has never been able to understand the hue and cry about nepotism - keep the wife in purdah – allow state machinery to be (mis)used by sons – exonerates mistakes of children – firmly believes in Indian tradition of helping ( even at the cost of the State )extended family members - would swear by patriotism, party, poor but seldom gives thought what such commitments mean – generally for private capitalism in private and public sector publicly ( milching public sector is only possible while holding position whereas private sector will continue to be munificent so long as one has influence and power with the Government - has a problem in distinguishing collection of funds for party and self - believes in family
planning so far as its applicability to poor is concerned but not to self – with commendable trait of being at ease whether in office or not in office – and so believes in karma - understands problems of poverty and ignorance and illiteracy – shuns western concepts and living styles – firmly believes that only politicians and not other classes who can improve the country – has great trepidation in dealing with party members opposed to him than opposition party members – never at a loss of words in speaking or advising on any subject ranging from oceanography to smuggling.
**
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Kashmir imbroglio
( Leave past baggage, entrenched beliefs, patriotism, etc., and find a way out - Out of Box solution is required for which we have to think the unthinkable )
1. Two Germanys merged, erstwhile strong Soviet Union disintegrated to various countries, Czechoslovakia became two countries, two Koreas were created, a number of countries, retaining own flags and individual identities of countries have come together as a regional body ( EU ), China is making efforts to get Taiwan merged with China and at the same time facing strife in one part of the country seeking separation, Tamils in Sri Lanka seeking separation from Sri Lanka, - all happened in a short time. The above are only examples. Integration and disintegration - both processes would continue to take place.
2. When the time comes for a development to take place or fruitful culmination of an agitation, then no force can stop the same. Yes, at any time to gauge the situation somewhat correctly and come to the conclusion that the time has come to eschew the path tread, is not easy. There would be divided opinions. On such matters any number of logical arguments can be advanced, both pro and con. There would be a cost. The decision taken could prove later to be not a correct one. That risk is there in all such decisions.
3. Out of Box thinking we do in our lives once a while. The outcome may not be as predicted. Yet when it becomes intolerable to continue with earlier and existing position, individuals and so also nations take a plunge. Inherited land for most of us was precious. There is an emotional attachment. Yet as time goes by more and more families are dividing such inherited land or selling the same outright. Same goes for inherited gold, jewels and ornament. In the earlier times it was not easy for people to come to terms with the position of settling outside the village one is born. Now people settle in places all over the world. Love marriages were anathema. Now there is even same sex marriage. Joint family is changing to nuclear family. Most of such changes did not occur easily. There were stiff objections. The process of churning out was anything but smooth.
4. So can the country look at the Kashmir problem afresh. I quote from some of the eminent writers. Please see attachment.
5. Allowing Kashmiris to decide their future through plebiscite, as promised by Indian Government six decades back, could lead to a separate country being born or Kashmir joining India or Pakistan. That would solve the problem once for all. There is no such issue in respect of Jammu and Ladakh and hence these regions would continue to be part of India, irrespective of the solution opted for by Kashmiris for Kashmir.
6. Those who are against the above suggestion would raise a number of objections, as below, some valid and some only emotive:
· Such a step would give encouragement to elements in other parts of the country to make similar demands and agitate for the same.
· Such a step would encourage similar new demands being raised in one or another part of the country now or future.
· If the Kashmiris opt for a separate country or opt to join Pakistan, we may have a much bigger border problem than what we are facing today.
· The Hindu minority population in Kashmir today will face repression from the government. They would be virtually forced to come to India. A repeat of the tragedy of partition cannot be ruled out.
· It is not the done thing for countries to give away their land just because some people mount an agitation.
· Such a step gives a wrong message to people at large in as much as, prolonged agitation would force the government to yield.
7. Yes, there is some validity in the first argument, i.e., the
suggested step would give encouragement to elements which want to separate from India, to intensify their agitation. But then solution to such a thorny problem cannot be achieved without an element of risk and compromise about the future.
8. During the last few decades, concepts, approaches, thinking of people everywhere on all matters related to individuals, families and State have changed vastly, with passage of time accelerating such change. Unlike in the distant past, people traveling to various countries is now very common. Many countries allow dual citizenship. Many countries are allowing people who have come from other countries to own property, the latest being Dubai. Many a person who had got a good job abroad, marry there, send children to local schools, buy a house there and settle permanently there. The same could happen if Kashmir becomes an independent country or part of Pakistan.
9. The festering problem of Kashmir which had made India and Pakistan virtually enemies, once the Kashmir problem is settled, would thaw in the aftermath of the solution and then slowly lead to normal relations. While looking at the negative aspects of the solution, one should not overlook this brighter side.
10.Further, while mulling over the matter, remember the soldiers who died on both sides due to the military conflicts between India and Pakistan and the grief of their families. Do we want to perpetuate that situation.
11.We can go on blaming Pakistan for the Kashmir problem. But then that would lead us nowhere. Hence the possibility of the solution leading to Kashmir being part of Pakistan or independent country could be said to be part of the price we pay for the decision to hold a plebiscite in Kashmir.
12.We say that India has been extremely generous financially to Kashmir compared to other States, our troops have been defending Kashmiris from Pakistanis/terrorists at high cost, both human and resources, etc., Yet by far Kashmiris feel that they have been let down by India.
13.To the poser that the proposed solution will encourage separatist forces in the country to intensify their agitations, there can be no clear cut answer. The State would have to counter firmly such moves. At the same time in such matters firmness should not lead to our being adamant.
**
Attachment
Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar.
· “I was once hopeful of Kashmir’s integration, but after six decades of effort, Kashmir alienation looks greater than ever.
· We promised Kashmiris a plebiscite six decades ago. Let us hold one now, and give them three choices: Independence, union with Pakistan, and union with India.”
Vir Sanghvi
· “ Nothing has really changed since the 1990s. A single spark – such as the dispute over Amarnath land – can set the whole valley on fire, so deep is the resentment, anger and the extent of secessionist feeling. Indian forces are treated as an army of occupation. New Delhi is seen as the oppressor. There is no engagement with the mainstream.
· It is not as though the Indian state has no experience of dealing with secessionist movements. Almost from the time we became independent 61 years ago, we have been faced with calls for secession from nearly every corner of India: from Nagaland, Assam and Mizoram, from Tamil Nadu, from Punjab, etc.,
· In every single case, democracy has provided the solution. We have followed a three-pronged approach: strong, almost brutal, police or army action against those engaging in violence, a call to the secessionist leaders to join the democratic process and then, generous central assistance for the rebuilding of the state. It is an approach that has worked brilliantly…
· The exception to this trend has been Kashmir. Contrary to what Kashmiris claim, we have tried everything. Even today, the state enjoys a special status. Under Article 370 of our Constitution, with the exception of defense, foreign policy and communication, no law enacted by parliament has any legitimacy in Kashmir unless the state government gives its consent. The state is the only one in India to have its own Constitution and the President of India cannot issue directions to the state government in exercise of the executive power of the Union as he can in every other state. Kashmiris are Indian citizens but Indians are not necessarily Kashmir citizens. We cannot vote for elections to their assembly or own any property in Kashmir…….Then there is the money. Bihar gets per capita central assistance of Rs. 876 per year. Kashmir gets over ten times more: Rs.9,754 per year. While in Bihar and other states, this assistance is mainly in the forms of loans to the state, in Kashmir 90% is outright grant.
· The current agitation in Kashmir demonstrates, far from gratitude, there is active hatred of India.
· The world looks at us with dismay. If we are the largest democracy on the planet then how can we hang on to a people who have no desire to be part of India.
· Why are we still hanging on to Kashmir if the Kashmiris don’t want to have anything to do with us? The answer is machismo. We have been conned into believing that it would diminish India if Kashmir seceded.”
Jug Suraiya:
· In the aftermath of Amarnath dispute, there was open display of crescent flag and massive anti India rallies in Kashmir. Separatism is no longer driven by fear of militant guns; today separatism is spearheaded by a far more serious threat: that of popular will. It would be facile to dismiss this groundswell of protest, which cuts across generational lines
· What Kashmir is witnessing today is fundamentally different: a cry for freedom backed not by guns but by the power of dissent – one of the foundation stones of the idea of India.
· After 60 years of concerted effort - military deployment, repeated elections, the giving of subsidies – India has been unable effectively to counter the demand for azadi.
**
1. Two Germanys merged, erstwhile strong Soviet Union disintegrated to various countries, Czechoslovakia became two countries, two Koreas were created, a number of countries, retaining own flags and individual identities of countries have come together as a regional body ( EU ), China is making efforts to get Taiwan merged with China and at the same time facing strife in one part of the country seeking separation, Tamils in Sri Lanka seeking separation from Sri Lanka, - all happened in a short time. The above are only examples. Integration and disintegration - both processes would continue to take place.
2. When the time comes for a development to take place or fruitful culmination of an agitation, then no force can stop the same. Yes, at any time to gauge the situation somewhat correctly and come to the conclusion that the time has come to eschew the path tread, is not easy. There would be divided opinions. On such matters any number of logical arguments can be advanced, both pro and con. There would be a cost. The decision taken could prove later to be not a correct one. That risk is there in all such decisions.
3. Out of Box thinking we do in our lives once a while. The outcome may not be as predicted. Yet when it becomes intolerable to continue with earlier and existing position, individuals and so also nations take a plunge. Inherited land for most of us was precious. There is an emotional attachment. Yet as time goes by more and more families are dividing such inherited land or selling the same outright. Same goes for inherited gold, jewels and ornament. In the earlier times it was not easy for people to come to terms with the position of settling outside the village one is born. Now people settle in places all over the world. Love marriages were anathema. Now there is even same sex marriage. Joint family is changing to nuclear family. Most of such changes did not occur easily. There were stiff objections. The process of churning out was anything but smooth.
4. So can the country look at the Kashmir problem afresh. I quote from some of the eminent writers. Please see attachment.
5. Allowing Kashmiris to decide their future through plebiscite, as promised by Indian Government six decades back, could lead to a separate country being born or Kashmir joining India or Pakistan. That would solve the problem once for all. There is no such issue in respect of Jammu and Ladakh and hence these regions would continue to be part of India, irrespective of the solution opted for by Kashmiris for Kashmir.
6. Those who are against the above suggestion would raise a number of objections, as below, some valid and some only emotive:
· Such a step would give encouragement to elements in other parts of the country to make similar demands and agitate for the same.
· Such a step would encourage similar new demands being raised in one or another part of the country now or future.
· If the Kashmiris opt for a separate country or opt to join Pakistan, we may have a much bigger border problem than what we are facing today.
· The Hindu minority population in Kashmir today will face repression from the government. They would be virtually forced to come to India. A repeat of the tragedy of partition cannot be ruled out.
· It is not the done thing for countries to give away their land just because some people mount an agitation.
· Such a step gives a wrong message to people at large in as much as, prolonged agitation would force the government to yield.
7. Yes, there is some validity in the first argument, i.e., the
suggested step would give encouragement to elements which want to separate from India, to intensify their agitation. But then solution to such a thorny problem cannot be achieved without an element of risk and compromise about the future.
8. During the last few decades, concepts, approaches, thinking of people everywhere on all matters related to individuals, families and State have changed vastly, with passage of time accelerating such change. Unlike in the distant past, people traveling to various countries is now very common. Many countries allow dual citizenship. Many countries are allowing people who have come from other countries to own property, the latest being Dubai. Many a person who had got a good job abroad, marry there, send children to local schools, buy a house there and settle permanently there. The same could happen if Kashmir becomes an independent country or part of Pakistan.
9. The festering problem of Kashmir which had made India and Pakistan virtually enemies, once the Kashmir problem is settled, would thaw in the aftermath of the solution and then slowly lead to normal relations. While looking at the negative aspects of the solution, one should not overlook this brighter side.
10.Further, while mulling over the matter, remember the soldiers who died on both sides due to the military conflicts between India and Pakistan and the grief of their families. Do we want to perpetuate that situation.
11.We can go on blaming Pakistan for the Kashmir problem. But then that would lead us nowhere. Hence the possibility of the solution leading to Kashmir being part of Pakistan or independent country could be said to be part of the price we pay for the decision to hold a plebiscite in Kashmir.
12.We say that India has been extremely generous financially to Kashmir compared to other States, our troops have been defending Kashmiris from Pakistanis/terrorists at high cost, both human and resources, etc., Yet by far Kashmiris feel that they have been let down by India.
13.To the poser that the proposed solution will encourage separatist forces in the country to intensify their agitations, there can be no clear cut answer. The State would have to counter firmly such moves. At the same time in such matters firmness should not lead to our being adamant.
**
Attachment
Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar.
· “I was once hopeful of Kashmir’s integration, but after six decades of effort, Kashmir alienation looks greater than ever.
· We promised Kashmiris a plebiscite six decades ago. Let us hold one now, and give them three choices: Independence, union with Pakistan, and union with India.”
Vir Sanghvi
· “ Nothing has really changed since the 1990s. A single spark – such as the dispute over Amarnath land – can set the whole valley on fire, so deep is the resentment, anger and the extent of secessionist feeling. Indian forces are treated as an army of occupation. New Delhi is seen as the oppressor. There is no engagement with the mainstream.
· It is not as though the Indian state has no experience of dealing with secessionist movements. Almost from the time we became independent 61 years ago, we have been faced with calls for secession from nearly every corner of India: from Nagaland, Assam and Mizoram, from Tamil Nadu, from Punjab, etc.,
· In every single case, democracy has provided the solution. We have followed a three-pronged approach: strong, almost brutal, police or army action against those engaging in violence, a call to the secessionist leaders to join the democratic process and then, generous central assistance for the rebuilding of the state. It is an approach that has worked brilliantly…
· The exception to this trend has been Kashmir. Contrary to what Kashmiris claim, we have tried everything. Even today, the state enjoys a special status. Under Article 370 of our Constitution, with the exception of defense, foreign policy and communication, no law enacted by parliament has any legitimacy in Kashmir unless the state government gives its consent. The state is the only one in India to have its own Constitution and the President of India cannot issue directions to the state government in exercise of the executive power of the Union as he can in every other state. Kashmiris are Indian citizens but Indians are not necessarily Kashmir citizens. We cannot vote for elections to their assembly or own any property in Kashmir…….Then there is the money. Bihar gets per capita central assistance of Rs. 876 per year. Kashmir gets over ten times more: Rs.9,754 per year. While in Bihar and other states, this assistance is mainly in the forms of loans to the state, in Kashmir 90% is outright grant.
· The current agitation in Kashmir demonstrates, far from gratitude, there is active hatred of India.
· The world looks at us with dismay. If we are the largest democracy on the planet then how can we hang on to a people who have no desire to be part of India.
· Why are we still hanging on to Kashmir if the Kashmiris don’t want to have anything to do with us? The answer is machismo. We have been conned into believing that it would diminish India if Kashmir seceded.”
Jug Suraiya:
· In the aftermath of Amarnath dispute, there was open display of crescent flag and massive anti India rallies in Kashmir. Separatism is no longer driven by fear of militant guns; today separatism is spearheaded by a far more serious threat: that of popular will. It would be facile to dismiss this groundswell of protest, which cuts across generational lines
· What Kashmir is witnessing today is fundamentally different: a cry for freedom backed not by guns but by the power of dissent – one of the foundation stones of the idea of India.
· After 60 years of concerted effort - military deployment, repeated elections, the giving of subsidies – India has been unable effectively to counter the demand for azadi.
**
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tipplers, rejoice - your long wait is over. I, your messiah is coming.
It is like Moses leading his people to a new land of hope. Yes, I admit, in scale my venture is going to be small, but the crux of the matter is same, i.e., deliverance. Moses did it for Jews. Gandhi did it for Indian people. Moses was immortalized in the film ‘ Ten Commandments ‘ by the ace actor Charlton Huston, with his towering look and histrionics. In Gandhi film Ben Kingsley gave a superb performance as Gandhi. In Gandhi, the Dandi march was the turning point. What I now propose to do will be the turning point in respect of the subject mater. Quite possible that in the years ahead a film will be made on the tireless efforts made by me to fulfill the gigantic task which befell on me.
Some time back my employers said ‘ enough of your being with us. Now goodbye.’. And I can’t complain. Much past normal retirement age, they have allowed me to continue with the employment. They had no call for that, because not only others who knew me but I also had no pretensions of my being extremely capable. My friends / relatives / colleagues in the industry to which I was engaged may say that my employers retained me so long because I was valuable to them. Crap. I was not. It is just happenstance that they never thought of saying good bye ( ‘ good riddance ‘ ) to me. When they conveyed the message I wanted to remonstrate with them that this would result in my having to face my better half all the time, not a cheerful thought. But I knew that their answer would be ‘ yes, that is the lot of professionals. But not that of business men and netas, because till death we continue with our occupation, irrespective of the fact that some of us may be senile.’
So I faced the problem of retired life. While I was pondering what I should do to serve the humanity, as all those retired people who want jobs say, a news item captured my fascination. In a District in Kerala, a State which has been competing with Punjab for decades on people of which State imbibe more, a drinkers club has been formed and on the first day itself there were over 8000 registrations. No cajoling for membership. They were devoted imbibers.
I thought, here is a cause which I can espouse. I am absolutely qualified, as would be evident from the following, to be life President of the organization:
· I have been a regular drinker for almost forty years ( drink and me are synonymous ).
· I had my share of brawls after getting drunk ( frank admittance of what happens after getting drunk means that I will understand and sympathise with such happenings among the members of the outfit.
· I have continued my drinking, despite all protestations of those who are near and dear to me ( proves my dedication to the cause and ability to face opposition ).
· I have never raised eye brow or frowned at my two sons occasionally drinking ( certificate of my conviction that drinking is not only normal but should be encouraged ).
· With over thirty-five years of service as CEO of different Industry Associations, I am well versed in reconciling differences between worthy and unworthy members ( In brief I am good at herding the cattle ). I am adept in changing the style and content of my working to the whims and fancies of the powers that be at a particular time in the Association, because no successor follows his predecessor in the approach to solve problems. I have achieved considerable expertise through long years of experience in handling effectively mostly ignorant politicians, vain babus, pesky journalists and abominable bosses. My acting prowess comes into full play while dealing with all of them, because I had to ensure that they are convinced that I have virtually given them a pat on their back.
· I will work without any salary, as is the case of many politicians / babus / journalists, who are out of job and not employable. I will make it known this fact indicating that for me cause is important than money. Of course this should not be confused with perks while in office and retrial benefits, as in the case of others mentioned above. I will elaborate later on the matter.
· I come from Kerala and hence good understanding of the drinking habits and politics of my countrymen there ( in
drunken brawls and maneuvering with Government, this knowledge would come in handy ).
Since nobody else in this country or elsewhere would be as qualified as I am for the job, it is virtually in my pocket. Considering the fact that I fit the job like fish to water, there would not be even the ritual of interview. How lucky my countrymen are, I thought.
The outfit should have a name, reflecting the character and objects of the body. From both these perspectives, the body should be named All Kerala Liquor Consumers’ Welfare Association ( AKLCWA ). But these days acronyms have become more important than the full name and acronyms should be easily pronounceable. Hence I may name it Spirit Lovers Indian Movement ( SLIM ) or Ideal Drinkers Loyalty Inc. ( IDLI ) or Drinkers of Southern Association ( DOSA ), the last two giving a flavour of Southern outfit. Or I may call it Bacchus Club because Bacchus is the God of drinks.
What I propose to do after taking up this most worthy social cause are the following:
1. Conduct a survey on:
· The types of spirits consumed in Kerala and their percentages, adulteration level, the methods of adulteration, smuggling of spirits to the State,.
· The methods of smuggling, what is the level of expenditure involved for greasing the palms of police and politicians for smuggling,
· How much bars over charge customers when the latter are in stages of moderate drinking, being tipsy and drunk.
· The growth level of drinking by college boys and women in the State,
· The level of drinking of politicians and pseudo godmen and the methods they adopt to cover up this vocation,
· How much tourists are taken for a ride by changing the labels of bottles, measuring tricks of pegs, mixing level of various spirits,
· Percentage of secret drinkers in Kerala,
· How may beat their wives after getting drunk and how many wives beat their husbands for drinking, etc.,
2. Based on the findings of the Survey and also after detailed deliberation by the Managing Committee of the outfit, i.e., when the members are sober, objectives of the movement, charter of demands and action plan of Bacchus Club would be finalized.
3. The Survey findings with suitable alteration to show the subject matter in a positive light from tipplers’ perspective would be published ( this is the way generally survey findings on any subject are further processed ).
4. The number of persons benefiting from drinking would be highlighted, i.e., gainful employment, with particular emphasis to toddy tapping which provides large scale employment and tourist inflow.
5. The participation or involvement level of politicians and police in smuggling of spirits would be scrupulously avoided in making public the findings of the survey.
6. The survey would help in giving unofficial but effective tips to politicians and police on how to increase their earnings from smuggling.
7. Self styled psychologists would be involved in writing detailed essays for publication in print media by selectively quoting from the survey. Suppressio veri, suggestio falsi, i.e., suppress truth and suggest falsehood, would be practiced with gusto, but quietly. For instance, drinking of husbands leading to wives beating them, would be suitably altered to indicate that many a husband drinks because of beating of the wife.
8. Impress on the committee of Bacchus Club that disorderly behaviour of members should not be a cause or reason for such members being subjected to disciplinary action, considering the fact that normal behaviour of members after a few pegs would be disorderly.
9. Quietly and if required confidentially seek the co-operation of journalists who are tipplers but may not be keen to make it known, so that positive stories are published in the media on tipplers and imbibing. First item in the agenda would be to propagate the fact that it is normal for tipplers to be disorderly, citing the example of similar behaviour of elected
representatives in the Assemblies and Parliament, even without drinking. If those honourable gentlemen can behave in such a manner while sober, why not those who worship Bacchus and had a few pegs.
10. ‘ Have a peg and be happy,’ ‘ Have more than one peg and experience bliss ‘ - this will be the title of the pamphlet of Bacchus Club for propagating spirits. Inside pages of pamphlet would have simple, yet effective examples, on the positive aspects of drinking. For example:
‘ I returned home from my office dispirited because my boss had fired me for not solving a problem he had cited. Sitting on the chair and despite mulling over the matter for quite some time, I could not find a solution to the problem. Then I stood up, took three firm strides, opened the cabinet, took the bottle and gulped a long peg neatly. In a few minutes the problem did not appear to me as a serious one. After the second drink, I thought about who created the problem and the fact that it was my boss dawned to me. Then while gulping the third peg, it suddenly occurred to me ‘ if he ( my boss ) had created the problem, then let him solve it. Why should I worry.’
After that it was the bottle taking me to Nirvana.
The story could be altered by changing boss to wife.
11. There could be quotations of famous people, such as,
A lady member of Parliament said to Winston Churchill ‘ Winston, you are drunk.’ Churchill responded by saying, ‘ I will be sober tomorrow. But you are ugly.’ The message was that I will be O.K. tomorrow whereas you are ugly life long.
12. It is normal that a drinker becomes contrite the morning after the drink and would behave exceedingly nice with family members. This enables the wives to extract maximum from such men, especially money for buying some dress material or ornament, two rampant diseases afflicting woman-folk through out the world in this generation, past and future generations also. Though widely known, this trait of drinkers will be highlighted in a positive way through the media.
13. I will then make a Mission Statement / Vision Statement / SWOT analysis for the Club. This is to give respect to the Club as many reputed companies and Chambers of Commerce / Industry Associations do. As in their case, it is not important whether constituents agree with the principles and goals enunciated in the above statement / analysis. It is for publicity and for getting funds, about which later. Though the constituents reading the statement / analysis know very well that there is not an iota of truth in what has been stated, still they will be happy, because self delusion is human nature. Further, such statement / analysis would impart some respectability to the movement and organization.
14. Once the above drawn schemes are in the process of implementation, I will start the most important work of preparing a set of objectives and a lengthier Charter of Demands for the Club. This is the in thing. Moreover, being located in Kerala, the Club has to move with the trend there of having Charter of Demands for any movement, even for pimping. Then again Charter of Demands has to precede strike and agitation, which are essential ingredients for a set up in Kerala to thrive and show its muscle. Further, taking into account the type of members of the club, any time it would be easy to mobilize a large number of people and shout slogans, besides picketing the Assembly, by suitably rewarding through bottles in the evening.
Objectives of the Movement
1. Propagate values and benefits of drinking to self, families of tipplers and the State.
2. Agitate for free movement of liquor, production of all categories of liquor, prescription of maximum mixing of various drinks, removal of restrictions in the matter of drinking, i.e., place, time, age, sex, etc.,
3. To seek for equal tax incidence on alcoholic beverages and medicines, on the ground that both alleviate misery.
4. To seek for judiciary taking a lenient view of misdemeanors of tipplers.
5. Seek grant from the State for the activities of the Bacchus Club.
6. Enter into mutually beneficial tie ups with Indian and foreign liquor majors and seek funds from the later for Bacchus club activities.
7. To persuade Government to allow sale of low alcoholic content booze with soft drinks.
8. To repeatedly issue clarion call to tipplers in the closet to come out of the same and openly and proudly declare, ‘ I booze.’
9. Participating in elections as tipplers and en-masse voting to candidates who would espouse the cause of tipplers.
10. Through continuous propaganda more and more people should be hypnotized to viewing tipplers as ‘ lovable rascals ‘ instead of ridiculing or chastising them.
Charter of Demands of Bacchus Club
1. Inalienable right of tipplers to be treated as honourable citizens of the State should be unequivocally recognized and announced by the Government and Assembly.
2. Kicking the tipplers below the belt through extortion in the name of tax – an approach taken by successive Finance Ministers of the State, despite the fact that many of them are
closet worshippers of Bacchus, should be stopped forthwith. As in the case of CST, each year the rate of tax should be reduced by five percentage points to ultimately reach zero tax.
3. The following actions should be treated as cognizable offences:
· Asking the would be bridegroom whether he imbibes
· Showing in films and TV serials Bacchus lovers in a bad light.
· Publishing in newspapers photos of any drunken scene or brawl in the aftermath of consumption of spirits.
· Not allowing liquor shops / bars in the vicinity of religious places / schools / colleges. Nothing is gained by religious worshippers and college boys, after going through the tedium of praying / mugging essays, being made to walk unnecessarily long distances for getting their legitimate need for booze.
· Inflammatory speeches / printed words against imbibing.
4. Kerala should take the lead by being the first State to declare
drinking as one of the Fundamental rights of citizens.
5. One day in a year should be declared as ‘ Tipplers Day ‘ like
May Day, etc.,
6. The State Government should move the Union Government to include the above rights in the Constitution. For achieving this, the State Government should canvass with other State Governments.
7. The State Government should set up a Committee, with a Cabinet Minister or High Court Judge as Chairman, to look into the complaints / views of tipplers, with tipplers having eighty percent of representation in the committee.
8. The State Government should initiate an exchange programme of tipplers, first between various States in India and then with other countries.
9. The State Government should sponsor tours of tipplers to other countries for both studying the subject further and also for exchange of views between tipplers of various races and colours.
10. Syllabus of schools and colleges should be changed to incorporate both positive and negative sides of drinking, instead of the present position of only decrying drinking. Moderate drinking advised by medical profession, in respect of certain ailments, should also find a place in the syllabus.
11. A list of four letter words would be drawn up by the Bacchus Club and forwarded to Government. Using of these words after a few drinks with impunity and will not be a punishable offence, but will be a punishable offence if used by people in sober condition.
12. Same goes for dress code, in as much as the urge for drinkers after a few pegs to disrobe themselves and walk in streets and public places, should be leniently looked upon by the enforcers of law.
13. Senior citizens should be entitled to have monthly quota of liquor without tax.
14. The State Government should approach ADB for loan to improve the lot of tipplers ( World Bank is anathema to Communist Government. If Congress Government comes to power in the State, then World Bank could also be approached for the purpose ).
15. Inter State and intra State competitions between tipplers would be an annual event, the expenses being borne by the State, with prizes for different categories, such as, maximum consumption of liquor in one sitting, able to walk steadily after reasonable level of consumption, talking sense after imbibing generously, etc.,
16. There would be an annual parade of tipplers, like the beauty competition, of those who are capable of walking and behaving properly after a few pegs.
17. There would be annual awards by the Bacchus Club to the actor who realistically portrayed the role of lovable tippler in films / serials and to the best article written pointing out the virtues and pluses of imbibing.
Note:
I know that in the above write up there has been some mix up and some repetitions. This was not avoidable considering the fact that it is only after a few pegs that I started writing this piece and further for inspiration while writing I had a few more pegs.
Succession plan
In the matter of my succession, I follow the time tested method adopted by politicians and businessmen. I will project from my family the successor to me and groom him up during my tenure. I will teach him the tricks of the trade. At the same time I will also be alert all the time on the activities of other senior members of the Club. Any revolt brewing in the Club would be put down without any mercy in a democratic fashion.
My retirement
I will decide when to retire. Hence there would be no mention of retiring age of President of the Club in its constitution. During the tenure of Presidency, I would not require any salary because I would follow the norm generally observed in this country on such matters. The Club will provide me free of charge residence-cum-President’s office/guest house, with the outfit being not in any way inferior to the houses provided to the Ministers of the Government. President’s office and residence will be only for my use and for Bacchus Club activities there would be another office. I will be provided with one of the latest mid segment cars with a driver. Initial money for purchase and running expenses will be met by the exchequer, failing which from the Club funds. The Guest house, i.e., where I stay will not be available for use to anybody, other than my relatives and friends. Since it is to be termed as a Guest house, the running expenses of the same including food and liquor will be met by the exchequer or the Club. Further, as is the usual practice, I will keep goodwill allowance given by liquor majors, though I will be doing this reluctantly only with the intention that neither exchequer or the Club are further burdened financially.
Since I would be President for Life of the Bacchus Club, in all probability I would drop dead while serving the cause. Yet, it is possible that I am thrown out after some time by the caucus. Formation of caucus in any outfit in Kerala is an inevitable development. Or my relative who was inducted in the club to eventually take over from me the post of President may do a coup and throw me out. This type of thing happens often in politics and business. In that event I would have to be moderately provided with salary and perks by the State equivalent to what is being given to the Chief Minister. That, you readers would appreciate is not asking much, particularly when I am sacrificing my life for such a worthy cause.
**
Some time back my employers said ‘ enough of your being with us. Now goodbye.’. And I can’t complain. Much past normal retirement age, they have allowed me to continue with the employment. They had no call for that, because not only others who knew me but I also had no pretensions of my being extremely capable. My friends / relatives / colleagues in the industry to which I was engaged may say that my employers retained me so long because I was valuable to them. Crap. I was not. It is just happenstance that they never thought of saying good bye ( ‘ good riddance ‘ ) to me. When they conveyed the message I wanted to remonstrate with them that this would result in my having to face my better half all the time, not a cheerful thought. But I knew that their answer would be ‘ yes, that is the lot of professionals. But not that of business men and netas, because till death we continue with our occupation, irrespective of the fact that some of us may be senile.’
So I faced the problem of retired life. While I was pondering what I should do to serve the humanity, as all those retired people who want jobs say, a news item captured my fascination. In a District in Kerala, a State which has been competing with Punjab for decades on people of which State imbibe more, a drinkers club has been formed and on the first day itself there were over 8000 registrations. No cajoling for membership. They were devoted imbibers.
I thought, here is a cause which I can espouse. I am absolutely qualified, as would be evident from the following, to be life President of the organization:
· I have been a regular drinker for almost forty years ( drink and me are synonymous ).
· I had my share of brawls after getting drunk ( frank admittance of what happens after getting drunk means that I will understand and sympathise with such happenings among the members of the outfit.
· I have continued my drinking, despite all protestations of those who are near and dear to me ( proves my dedication to the cause and ability to face opposition ).
· I have never raised eye brow or frowned at my two sons occasionally drinking ( certificate of my conviction that drinking is not only normal but should be encouraged ).
· With over thirty-five years of service as CEO of different Industry Associations, I am well versed in reconciling differences between worthy and unworthy members ( In brief I am good at herding the cattle ). I am adept in changing the style and content of my working to the whims and fancies of the powers that be at a particular time in the Association, because no successor follows his predecessor in the approach to solve problems. I have achieved considerable expertise through long years of experience in handling effectively mostly ignorant politicians, vain babus, pesky journalists and abominable bosses. My acting prowess comes into full play while dealing with all of them, because I had to ensure that they are convinced that I have virtually given them a pat on their back.
· I will work without any salary, as is the case of many politicians / babus / journalists, who are out of job and not employable. I will make it known this fact indicating that for me cause is important than money. Of course this should not be confused with perks while in office and retrial benefits, as in the case of others mentioned above. I will elaborate later on the matter.
· I come from Kerala and hence good understanding of the drinking habits and politics of my countrymen there ( in
drunken brawls and maneuvering with Government, this knowledge would come in handy ).
Since nobody else in this country or elsewhere would be as qualified as I am for the job, it is virtually in my pocket. Considering the fact that I fit the job like fish to water, there would not be even the ritual of interview. How lucky my countrymen are, I thought.
The outfit should have a name, reflecting the character and objects of the body. From both these perspectives, the body should be named All Kerala Liquor Consumers’ Welfare Association ( AKLCWA ). But these days acronyms have become more important than the full name and acronyms should be easily pronounceable. Hence I may name it Spirit Lovers Indian Movement ( SLIM ) or Ideal Drinkers Loyalty Inc. ( IDLI ) or Drinkers of Southern Association ( DOSA ), the last two giving a flavour of Southern outfit. Or I may call it Bacchus Club because Bacchus is the God of drinks.
What I propose to do after taking up this most worthy social cause are the following:
1. Conduct a survey on:
· The types of spirits consumed in Kerala and their percentages, adulteration level, the methods of adulteration, smuggling of spirits to the State,.
· The methods of smuggling, what is the level of expenditure involved for greasing the palms of police and politicians for smuggling,
· How much bars over charge customers when the latter are in stages of moderate drinking, being tipsy and drunk.
· The growth level of drinking by college boys and women in the State,
· The level of drinking of politicians and pseudo godmen and the methods they adopt to cover up this vocation,
· How much tourists are taken for a ride by changing the labels of bottles, measuring tricks of pegs, mixing level of various spirits,
· Percentage of secret drinkers in Kerala,
· How may beat their wives after getting drunk and how many wives beat their husbands for drinking, etc.,
2. Based on the findings of the Survey and also after detailed deliberation by the Managing Committee of the outfit, i.e., when the members are sober, objectives of the movement, charter of demands and action plan of Bacchus Club would be finalized.
3. The Survey findings with suitable alteration to show the subject matter in a positive light from tipplers’ perspective would be published ( this is the way generally survey findings on any subject are further processed ).
4. The number of persons benefiting from drinking would be highlighted, i.e., gainful employment, with particular emphasis to toddy tapping which provides large scale employment and tourist inflow.
5. The participation or involvement level of politicians and police in smuggling of spirits would be scrupulously avoided in making public the findings of the survey.
6. The survey would help in giving unofficial but effective tips to politicians and police on how to increase their earnings from smuggling.
7. Self styled psychologists would be involved in writing detailed essays for publication in print media by selectively quoting from the survey. Suppressio veri, suggestio falsi, i.e., suppress truth and suggest falsehood, would be practiced with gusto, but quietly. For instance, drinking of husbands leading to wives beating them, would be suitably altered to indicate that many a husband drinks because of beating of the wife.
8. Impress on the committee of Bacchus Club that disorderly behaviour of members should not be a cause or reason for such members being subjected to disciplinary action, considering the fact that normal behaviour of members after a few pegs would be disorderly.
9. Quietly and if required confidentially seek the co-operation of journalists who are tipplers but may not be keen to make it known, so that positive stories are published in the media on tipplers and imbibing. First item in the agenda would be to propagate the fact that it is normal for tipplers to be disorderly, citing the example of similar behaviour of elected
representatives in the Assemblies and Parliament, even without drinking. If those honourable gentlemen can behave in such a manner while sober, why not those who worship Bacchus and had a few pegs.
10. ‘ Have a peg and be happy,’ ‘ Have more than one peg and experience bliss ‘ - this will be the title of the pamphlet of Bacchus Club for propagating spirits. Inside pages of pamphlet would have simple, yet effective examples, on the positive aspects of drinking. For example:
‘ I returned home from my office dispirited because my boss had fired me for not solving a problem he had cited. Sitting on the chair and despite mulling over the matter for quite some time, I could not find a solution to the problem. Then I stood up, took three firm strides, opened the cabinet, took the bottle and gulped a long peg neatly. In a few minutes the problem did not appear to me as a serious one. After the second drink, I thought about who created the problem and the fact that it was my boss dawned to me. Then while gulping the third peg, it suddenly occurred to me ‘ if he ( my boss ) had created the problem, then let him solve it. Why should I worry.’
After that it was the bottle taking me to Nirvana.
The story could be altered by changing boss to wife.
11. There could be quotations of famous people, such as,
A lady member of Parliament said to Winston Churchill ‘ Winston, you are drunk.’ Churchill responded by saying, ‘ I will be sober tomorrow. But you are ugly.’ The message was that I will be O.K. tomorrow whereas you are ugly life long.
12. It is normal that a drinker becomes contrite the morning after the drink and would behave exceedingly nice with family members. This enables the wives to extract maximum from such men, especially money for buying some dress material or ornament, two rampant diseases afflicting woman-folk through out the world in this generation, past and future generations also. Though widely known, this trait of drinkers will be highlighted in a positive way through the media.
13. I will then make a Mission Statement / Vision Statement / SWOT analysis for the Club. This is to give respect to the Club as many reputed companies and Chambers of Commerce / Industry Associations do. As in their case, it is not important whether constituents agree with the principles and goals enunciated in the above statement / analysis. It is for publicity and for getting funds, about which later. Though the constituents reading the statement / analysis know very well that there is not an iota of truth in what has been stated, still they will be happy, because self delusion is human nature. Further, such statement / analysis would impart some respectability to the movement and organization.
14. Once the above drawn schemes are in the process of implementation, I will start the most important work of preparing a set of objectives and a lengthier Charter of Demands for the Club. This is the in thing. Moreover, being located in Kerala, the Club has to move with the trend there of having Charter of Demands for any movement, even for pimping. Then again Charter of Demands has to precede strike and agitation, which are essential ingredients for a set up in Kerala to thrive and show its muscle. Further, taking into account the type of members of the club, any time it would be easy to mobilize a large number of people and shout slogans, besides picketing the Assembly, by suitably rewarding through bottles in the evening.
Objectives of the Movement
1. Propagate values and benefits of drinking to self, families of tipplers and the State.
2. Agitate for free movement of liquor, production of all categories of liquor, prescription of maximum mixing of various drinks, removal of restrictions in the matter of drinking, i.e., place, time, age, sex, etc.,
3. To seek for equal tax incidence on alcoholic beverages and medicines, on the ground that both alleviate misery.
4. To seek for judiciary taking a lenient view of misdemeanors of tipplers.
5. Seek grant from the State for the activities of the Bacchus Club.
6. Enter into mutually beneficial tie ups with Indian and foreign liquor majors and seek funds from the later for Bacchus club activities.
7. To persuade Government to allow sale of low alcoholic content booze with soft drinks.
8. To repeatedly issue clarion call to tipplers in the closet to come out of the same and openly and proudly declare, ‘ I booze.’
9. Participating in elections as tipplers and en-masse voting to candidates who would espouse the cause of tipplers.
10. Through continuous propaganda more and more people should be hypnotized to viewing tipplers as ‘ lovable rascals ‘ instead of ridiculing or chastising them.
Charter of Demands of Bacchus Club
1. Inalienable right of tipplers to be treated as honourable citizens of the State should be unequivocally recognized and announced by the Government and Assembly.
2. Kicking the tipplers below the belt through extortion in the name of tax – an approach taken by successive Finance Ministers of the State, despite the fact that many of them are
closet worshippers of Bacchus, should be stopped forthwith. As in the case of CST, each year the rate of tax should be reduced by five percentage points to ultimately reach zero tax.
3. The following actions should be treated as cognizable offences:
· Asking the would be bridegroom whether he imbibes
· Showing in films and TV serials Bacchus lovers in a bad light.
· Publishing in newspapers photos of any drunken scene or brawl in the aftermath of consumption of spirits.
· Not allowing liquor shops / bars in the vicinity of religious places / schools / colleges. Nothing is gained by religious worshippers and college boys, after going through the tedium of praying / mugging essays, being made to walk unnecessarily long distances for getting their legitimate need for booze.
· Inflammatory speeches / printed words against imbibing.
4. Kerala should take the lead by being the first State to declare
drinking as one of the Fundamental rights of citizens.
5. One day in a year should be declared as ‘ Tipplers Day ‘ like
May Day, etc.,
6. The State Government should move the Union Government to include the above rights in the Constitution. For achieving this, the State Government should canvass with other State Governments.
7. The State Government should set up a Committee, with a Cabinet Minister or High Court Judge as Chairman, to look into the complaints / views of tipplers, with tipplers having eighty percent of representation in the committee.
8. The State Government should initiate an exchange programme of tipplers, first between various States in India and then with other countries.
9. The State Government should sponsor tours of tipplers to other countries for both studying the subject further and also for exchange of views between tipplers of various races and colours.
10. Syllabus of schools and colleges should be changed to incorporate both positive and negative sides of drinking, instead of the present position of only decrying drinking. Moderate drinking advised by medical profession, in respect of certain ailments, should also find a place in the syllabus.
11. A list of four letter words would be drawn up by the Bacchus Club and forwarded to Government. Using of these words after a few drinks with impunity and will not be a punishable offence, but will be a punishable offence if used by people in sober condition.
12. Same goes for dress code, in as much as the urge for drinkers after a few pegs to disrobe themselves and walk in streets and public places, should be leniently looked upon by the enforcers of law.
13. Senior citizens should be entitled to have monthly quota of liquor without tax.
14. The State Government should approach ADB for loan to improve the lot of tipplers ( World Bank is anathema to Communist Government. If Congress Government comes to power in the State, then World Bank could also be approached for the purpose ).
15. Inter State and intra State competitions between tipplers would be an annual event, the expenses being borne by the State, with prizes for different categories, such as, maximum consumption of liquor in one sitting, able to walk steadily after reasonable level of consumption, talking sense after imbibing generously, etc.,
16. There would be an annual parade of tipplers, like the beauty competition, of those who are capable of walking and behaving properly after a few pegs.
17. There would be annual awards by the Bacchus Club to the actor who realistically portrayed the role of lovable tippler in films / serials and to the best article written pointing out the virtues and pluses of imbibing.
Note:
I know that in the above write up there has been some mix up and some repetitions. This was not avoidable considering the fact that it is only after a few pegs that I started writing this piece and further for inspiration while writing I had a few more pegs.
Succession plan
In the matter of my succession, I follow the time tested method adopted by politicians and businessmen. I will project from my family the successor to me and groom him up during my tenure. I will teach him the tricks of the trade. At the same time I will also be alert all the time on the activities of other senior members of the Club. Any revolt brewing in the Club would be put down without any mercy in a democratic fashion.
My retirement
I will decide when to retire. Hence there would be no mention of retiring age of President of the Club in its constitution. During the tenure of Presidency, I would not require any salary because I would follow the norm generally observed in this country on such matters. The Club will provide me free of charge residence-cum-President’s office/guest house, with the outfit being not in any way inferior to the houses provided to the Ministers of the Government. President’s office and residence will be only for my use and for Bacchus Club activities there would be another office. I will be provided with one of the latest mid segment cars with a driver. Initial money for purchase and running expenses will be met by the exchequer, failing which from the Club funds. The Guest house, i.e., where I stay will not be available for use to anybody, other than my relatives and friends. Since it is to be termed as a Guest house, the running expenses of the same including food and liquor will be met by the exchequer or the Club. Further, as is the usual practice, I will keep goodwill allowance given by liquor majors, though I will be doing this reluctantly only with the intention that neither exchequer or the Club are further burdened financially.
Since I would be President for Life of the Bacchus Club, in all probability I would drop dead while serving the cause. Yet, it is possible that I am thrown out after some time by the caucus. Formation of caucus in any outfit in Kerala is an inevitable development. Or my relative who was inducted in the club to eventually take over from me the post of President may do a coup and throw me out. This type of thing happens often in politics and business. In that event I would have to be moderately provided with salary and perks by the State equivalent to what is being given to the Chief Minister. That, you readers would appreciate is not asking much, particularly when I am sacrificing my life for such a worthy cause.
**
Tipplers, rejoice - your long wait is over. I, your messiah is coming.
It is like Moses leading his people to a new land of hope. Yes, I admit, in scale my venture is going to be small, but the crux of the matter is same, i.e., deliverance. Moses did it for Jews. Gandhi did it for Indian people. Moses was immortalized in the film ‘ Ten Commandments ‘ by the ace actor Charlton Huston, with his towering look and histrionics. In Gandhi film Ben Kingsley gave a superb performance as Gandhi. In Gandhi, the Dandi march was the turning point. What I now propose to do will be the turning point in respect of the subject mater. Quite possible that in the years ahead a film will be made on the tireless efforts made by me to fulfill the gigantic task which befell on me.
Some time back my employers said ‘ enough of your being with us. Now goodbye.’. And I can’t complain. Much past normal retirement age, they have allowed me to continue with the employment. They had no call for that, because not only others who knew me but I also had no pretensions of my being extremely capable. My friends / relatives / colleagues in the industry to which I was engaged may say that my employers retained me so long because I was valuable to them. Crap. I was not. It is just happenstance that they never thought of saying good bye ( ‘ good riddance ‘ ) to me. When they conveyed the message I wanted to remonstrate with them that this would result in my having to face my better half all the time, not a cheerful thought. But I knew that their answer would be ‘ yes, that is the lot of professionals. But not that of business men and netas, because till death we continue with our occupation, irrespective of the fact that some of us may be senile.’
So I faced the problem of retired life. While I was pondering what I should do to serve the humanity, as all those retired people who want jobs say, a news item captured my fascination. In a District in Kerala, a State which has been competing with Punjab for decades on people of which State imbibe more, a drinkers club has been formed and on the first day itself there were over 8000 registrations. No cajoling for membership. They were devoted imbibers.
I thought, here is a cause which I can espouse. I am absolutely qualified, as would be evident from the following, to be life President of the organization:
· I have been a regular drinker for almost forty years ( drink and me are synonymous ).
· I had my share of brawls after getting drunk ( frank admittance of what happens after getting drunk means that I will understand and sympathise with such happenings among the members of the outfit.
· I have continued my drinking, despite all protestations of those who are near and dear to me ( proves my dedication to the cause and ability to face opposition ).
· I have never raised eye brow or frowned at my two sons occasionally drinking ( certificate of my conviction that drinking is not only normal but should be encouraged ).
· With over thirty-five years of service as CEO of different Industry Associations, I am well versed in reconciling differences between worthy and unworthy members ( In brief I am good at herding the cattle ). I am adept in changing the style and content of my working to the whims and fancies of the powers that be at a particular time in the Association, because no successor follows his predecessor in the approach to solve problems. I have achieved considerable expertise through long years of experience in handling effectively mostly ignorant politicians, vain babus, pesky journalists and abominable bosses. My acting prowess comes into full play while dealing with all of them, because I had to ensure that they are convinced that I have virtually given them a pat on their back.
· I will work without any salary, as is the case of many politicians / babus / journalists, who are out of job and not employable. I will make it known this fact indicating that for me cause is important than money. Of course this should not be confused with perks while in office and retrial benefits, as in the case of others mentioned above. I will elaborate later on the matter.
· I come from Kerala and hence good understanding of the drinking habits and politics of my countrymen there ( in
drunken brawls and maneuvering with Government, this knowledge would come in handy ).
Since nobody else in this country or elsewhere would be as qualified as I am for the job, it is virtually in my pocket. Considering the fact that I fit the job like fish to water, there would not be even the ritual of interview. How lucky my countrymen are, I thought.
The outfit should have a name, reflecting the character and objects of the body. From both these perspectives, the body should be named All Kerala Liquor Consumers’ Welfare Association ( AKLCWA ). But these days acronyms have become more important than the full name and acronyms should be easily pronounceable. Hence I may name it Spirit Lovers Indian Movement ( SLIM ) or Ideal Drinkers Loyalty Inc. ( IDLI ) or Drinkers of Southern Association ( DOSA ), the last two giving a flavour of Southern outfit. Or I may call it Bacchus Club because Bacchus is the God of drinks.
What I propose to do after taking up this most worthy social cause are the following:
1. Conduct a survey on:
· The types of spirits consumed in Kerala and their percentages, adulteration level, the methods of adulteration, smuggling of spirits to the State,.
· The methods of smuggling, what is the level of expenditure involved for greasing the palms of police and politicians for smuggling,
· How much bars over charge customers when the latter are in stages of moderate drinking, being tipsy and drunk.
· The growth level of drinking by college boys and women in the State,
· The level of drinking of politicians and pseudo godmen and the methods they adopt to cover up this vocation,
· How much tourists are taken for a ride by changing the labels of bottles, measuring tricks of pegs, mixing level of various spirits,
· Percentage of secret drinkers in Kerala,
· How may beat their wives after getting drunk and how many wives beat their husbands for drinking, etc.,
2. Based on the findings of the Survey and also after detailed deliberation by the Managing Committee of the outfit, i.e., when the members are sober, objectives of the movement, charter of demands and action plan of Bacchus Club would be finalized.
3. The Survey findings with suitable alteration to show the subject matter in a positive light from tipplers’ perspective would be published ( this is the way generally survey findings on any subject are further processed ).
4. The number of persons benefiting from drinking would be highlighted, i.e., gainful employment, with particular emphasis to toddy tapping which provides large scale employment and tourist inflow.
5. The participation or involvement level of politicians and police in smuggling of spirits would be scrupulously avoided in making public the findings of the survey.
6. The survey would help in giving unofficial but effective tips to politicians and police on how to increase their earnings from smuggling.
7. Self styled psychologists would be involved in writing detailed essays for publication in print media by selectively quoting from the survey. Suppressio veri, suggestio falsi, i.e., suppress truth and suggest falsehood, would be practiced with gusto, but quietly. For instance, drinking of husbands leading to wives beating them, would be suitably altered to indicate that many a husband drinks because of beating of the wife.
8. Impress on the committee of Bacchus Club that disorderly behaviour of members should not be a cause or reason for such members being subjected to disciplinary action, considering the fact that normal behaviour of members after a few pegs would be disorderly.
9. Quietly and if required confidentially seek the co-operation of journalists who are tipplers but may not be keen to make it known, so that positive stories are published in the media on tipplers and imbibing. First item in the agenda would be to propagate the fact that it is normal for tipplers to be disorderly, citing the example of similar behaviour of elected
representatives in the Assemblies and Parliament, even without drinking. If those honourable gentlemen can behave in such a manner while sober, why not those who worship Bacchus and had a few pegs.
10. ‘ Have a peg and be happy,’ ‘ Have more than one peg and experience bliss ‘ - this will be the title of the pamphlet of Bacchus Club for propagating spirits. Inside pages of pamphlet would have simple, yet effective examples, on the positive aspects of drinking. For example:
‘ I returned home from my office dispirited because my boss had fired me for not solving a problem he had cited. Sitting on the chair and despite mulling over the matter for quite some time, I could not find a solution to the problem. Then I stood up, took three firm strides, opened the cabinet, took the bottle and gulped a long peg neatly. In a few minutes the problem did not appear to me as a serious one. After the second drink, I thought about who created the problem and the fact that it was my boss dawned to me. Then while gulping the third peg, it suddenly occurred to me ‘ if he ( my boss ) had created the problem, then let him solve it. Why should I worry.’
After that it was the bottle taking me to Nirvana.
The story could be altered by changing boss to wife.
11. There could be quotations of famous people, such as,
A lady member of Parliament said to Winston Churchill ‘ Winston, you are drunk.’ Churchill responded by saying, ‘ I will be sober tomorrow. But you are ugly.’ The message was that I will be O.K. tomorrow whereas you are ugly life long.
12. It is normal that a drinker becomes contrite the morning after the drink and would behave exceedingly nice with family members. This enables the wives to extract maximum from such men, especially money for buying some dress material or ornament, two rampant diseases afflicting woman-folk through out the world in this generation, past and future generations also. Though widely known, this trait of drinkers will be highlighted in a positive way through the media.
13. I will then make a Mission Statement / Vision Statement / SWOT analysis for the Club. This is to give respect to the Club as many reputed companies and Chambers of Commerce / Industry Associations do. As in their case, it is not important whether constituents agree with the principles and goals enunciated in the above statement / analysis. It is for publicity and for getting funds, about which later. Though the constituents reading the statement / analysis know very well that there is not an iota of truth in what has been stated, still they will be happy, because self delusion is human nature. Further, such statement / analysis would impart some respectability to the movement and organization.
14. Once the above drawn schemes are in the process of implementation, I will start the most important work of preparing a set of objectives and a lengthier Charter of Demands for the Club. This is the in thing. Moreover, being located in Kerala, the Club has to move with the trend there of having Charter of Demands for any movement, even for pimping. Then again Charter of Demands has to precede strike and agitation, which are essential ingredients for a set up in Kerala to thrive and show its muscle. Further, taking into account the type of members of the club, any time it would be easy to mobilize a large number of people and shout slogans, besides picketing the Assembly, by suitably rewarding through bottles in the evening.
Objectives of the Movement
1. Propagate values and benefits of drinking to self, families of tipplers and the State.
2. Agitate for free movement of liquor, production of all categories of liquor, prescription of maximum mixing of various drinks, removal of restrictions in the matter of drinking, i.e., place, time, age, sex, etc.,
3. To seek for equal tax incidence on alcoholic beverages and medicines, on the ground that both alleviate misery.
4. To seek for judiciary taking a lenient view of misdemeanors of tipplers.
5. Seek grant from the State for the activities of the Bacchus Club.
6. Enter into mutually beneficial tie ups with Indian and foreign liquor majors and seek funds from the later for Bacchus club activities.
7. To persuade Government to allow sale of low alcoholic content booze with soft drinks.
8. To repeatedly issue clarion call to tipplers in the closet to come out of the same and openly and proudly declare, ‘ I booze.’
9. Participating in elections as tipplers and en-masse voting to candidates who would espouse the cause of tipplers.
10. Through continuous propaganda more and more people should be hypnotized to viewing tipplers as ‘ lovable rascals ‘ instead of ridiculing or chastising them.
Charter of Demands of Bacchus Club
1. Inalienable right of tipplers to be treated as honourable citizens of the State should be unequivocally recognized and announced by the Government and Assembly.
2. Kicking the tipplers below the belt through extortion in the name of tax – an approach taken by successive Finance Ministers of the State, despite the fact that many of them are
closet worshippers of Bacchus, should be stopped forthwith. As in the case of CST, each year the rate of tax should be reduced by five percentage points to ultimately reach zero tax.
3. The following actions should be treated as cognizable offences:
· Asking the would be bridegroom whether he imbibes
· Showing in films and TV serials Bacchus lovers in a bad light.
· Publishing in newspapers photos of any drunken scene or brawl in the aftermath of consumption of spirits.
· Not allowing liquor shops / bars in the vicinity of religious places / schools / colleges. Nothing is gained by religious worshippers and college boys, after going through the tedium of praying / mugging essays, being made to walk unnecessarily long distances for getting their legitimate need for booze.
· Inflammatory speeches / printed words against imbibing.
4. Kerala should take the lead by being the first State to declare
drinking as one of the Fundamental rights of citizens.
5. One day in a year should be declared as ‘ Tipplers Day ‘ like
May Day, etc.,
6. The State Government should move the Union Government to include the above rights in the Constitution. For achieving this, the State Government should canvass with other State Governments.
7. The State Government should set up a Committee, with a Cabinet Minister or High Court Judge as Chairman, to look into the complaints / views of tipplers, with tipplers having eighty percent of representation in the committee.
8. The State Government should initiate an exchange programme of tipplers, first between various States in India and then with other countries.
9. The State Government should sponsor tours of tipplers to other countries for both studying the subject further and also for exchange of views between tipplers of various races and colours.
10. Syllabus of schools and colleges should be changed to incorporate both positive and negative sides of drinking, instead of the present position of only decrying drinking. Moderate drinking advised by medical profession, in respect of certain ailments, should also find a place in the syllabus.
11. A list of four letter words would be drawn up by the Bacchus Club and forwarded to Government. Using of these words after a few drinks with impunity and will not be a punishable offence, but will be a punishable offence if used by people in sober condition.
12. Same goes for dress code, in as much as the urge for drinkers after a few pegs to disrobe themselves and walk in streets and public places, should be leniently looked upon by the enforcers of law.
13. Senior citizens should be entitled to have monthly quota of liquor without tax.
14. The State Government should approach ADB for loan to improve the lot of tipplers ( World Bank is anathema to Communist Government. If Congress Government comes to power in the State, then World Bank could also be approached for the purpose ).
15. Inter State and intra State competitions between tipplers would be an annual event, the expenses being borne by the State, with prizes for different categories, such as, maximum consumption of liquor in one sitting, able to walk steadily after reasonable level of consumption, talking sense after imbibing generously, etc.,
16. There would be an annual parade of tipplers, like the beauty competition, of those who are capable of walking and behaving properly after a few pegs.
17. There would be annual awards by the Bacchus Club to the actor who realistically portrayed the role of lovable tippler in films / serials and to the best article written pointing out the virtues and pluses of imbibing.
Note:
I know that in the above write up there has been some mix up and some repetitions. This was not avoidable considering the fact that it is only after a few pegs that I started writing this piece and further for inspiration while writing I had a few more pegs.
Succession plan
In the matter of my succession, I follow the time tested method adopted by politicians and businessmen. I will project from my family the successor to me and groom him up during my tenure. I will teach him the tricks of the trade. At the same time I will also be alert all the time on the activities of other senior members of the Club. Any revolt brewing in the Club would be put down without any mercy in a democratic fashion.
My retirement
I will decide when to retire. Hence there would be no mention of retiring age of President of the Club in its constitution. During the tenure of Presidency, I would not require any salary because I would follow the norm generally observed in this country on such matters. The Club will provide me free of charge residence-cum-President’s office/guest house, with the outfit being not in any way inferior to the houses provided to the Ministers of the Government. President’s office and residence will be only for my use and for Bacchus Club activities there would be another office. I will be provided with one of the latest mid segment cars with a driver. Initial money for purchase and running expenses will be met by the exchequer, failing which from the Club funds. The Guest house, i.e., where I stay will not be available for use to anybody, other than my relatives and friends. Since it is to be termed as a Guest house, the running expenses of the same including food and liquor will be met by the exchequer or the Club. Further, as is the usual practice, I will keep goodwill allowance given by liquor majors, though I will be doing this reluctantly only with the intention that neither exchequer or the Club are further burdened financially.
Since I would be President for Life of the Bacchus Club, in all probability I would drop dead while serving the cause. Yet, it is possible that I am thrown out after some time by the caucus. Formation of caucus in any outfit in Kerala is an inevitable development. Or my relative who was inducted in the club to eventually take over from me the post of President may do a coup and throw me out. This type of thing happens often in politics and business. In that event I would have to be moderately provided with salary and perks by the State equivalent to what is being given to the Chief Minister. That, you readers would appreciate is not asking much, particularly when I am sacrificing my life for such a worthy cause.
**
Some time back my employers said ‘ enough of your being with us. Now goodbye.’. And I can’t complain. Much past normal retirement age, they have allowed me to continue with the employment. They had no call for that, because not only others who knew me but I also had no pretensions of my being extremely capable. My friends / relatives / colleagues in the industry to which I was engaged may say that my employers retained me so long because I was valuable to them. Crap. I was not. It is just happenstance that they never thought of saying good bye ( ‘ good riddance ‘ ) to me. When they conveyed the message I wanted to remonstrate with them that this would result in my having to face my better half all the time, not a cheerful thought. But I knew that their answer would be ‘ yes, that is the lot of professionals. But not that of business men and netas, because till death we continue with our occupation, irrespective of the fact that some of us may be senile.’
So I faced the problem of retired life. While I was pondering what I should do to serve the humanity, as all those retired people who want jobs say, a news item captured my fascination. In a District in Kerala, a State which has been competing with Punjab for decades on people of which State imbibe more, a drinkers club has been formed and on the first day itself there were over 8000 registrations. No cajoling for membership. They were devoted imbibers.
I thought, here is a cause which I can espouse. I am absolutely qualified, as would be evident from the following, to be life President of the organization:
· I have been a regular drinker for almost forty years ( drink and me are synonymous ).
· I had my share of brawls after getting drunk ( frank admittance of what happens after getting drunk means that I will understand and sympathise with such happenings among the members of the outfit.
· I have continued my drinking, despite all protestations of those who are near and dear to me ( proves my dedication to the cause and ability to face opposition ).
· I have never raised eye brow or frowned at my two sons occasionally drinking ( certificate of my conviction that drinking is not only normal but should be encouraged ).
· With over thirty-five years of service as CEO of different Industry Associations, I am well versed in reconciling differences between worthy and unworthy members ( In brief I am good at herding the cattle ). I am adept in changing the style and content of my working to the whims and fancies of the powers that be at a particular time in the Association, because no successor follows his predecessor in the approach to solve problems. I have achieved considerable expertise through long years of experience in handling effectively mostly ignorant politicians, vain babus, pesky journalists and abominable bosses. My acting prowess comes into full play while dealing with all of them, because I had to ensure that they are convinced that I have virtually given them a pat on their back.
· I will work without any salary, as is the case of many politicians / babus / journalists, who are out of job and not employable. I will make it known this fact indicating that for me cause is important than money. Of course this should not be confused with perks while in office and retrial benefits, as in the case of others mentioned above. I will elaborate later on the matter.
· I come from Kerala and hence good understanding of the drinking habits and politics of my countrymen there ( in
drunken brawls and maneuvering with Government, this knowledge would come in handy ).
Since nobody else in this country or elsewhere would be as qualified as I am for the job, it is virtually in my pocket. Considering the fact that I fit the job like fish to water, there would not be even the ritual of interview. How lucky my countrymen are, I thought.
The outfit should have a name, reflecting the character and objects of the body. From both these perspectives, the body should be named All Kerala Liquor Consumers’ Welfare Association ( AKLCWA ). But these days acronyms have become more important than the full name and acronyms should be easily pronounceable. Hence I may name it Spirit Lovers Indian Movement ( SLIM ) or Ideal Drinkers Loyalty Inc. ( IDLI ) or Drinkers of Southern Association ( DOSA ), the last two giving a flavour of Southern outfit. Or I may call it Bacchus Club because Bacchus is the God of drinks.
What I propose to do after taking up this most worthy social cause are the following:
1. Conduct a survey on:
· The types of spirits consumed in Kerala and their percentages, adulteration level, the methods of adulteration, smuggling of spirits to the State,.
· The methods of smuggling, what is the level of expenditure involved for greasing the palms of police and politicians for smuggling,
· How much bars over charge customers when the latter are in stages of moderate drinking, being tipsy and drunk.
· The growth level of drinking by college boys and women in the State,
· The level of drinking of politicians and pseudo godmen and the methods they adopt to cover up this vocation,
· How much tourists are taken for a ride by changing the labels of bottles, measuring tricks of pegs, mixing level of various spirits,
· Percentage of secret drinkers in Kerala,
· How may beat their wives after getting drunk and how many wives beat their husbands for drinking, etc.,
2. Based on the findings of the Survey and also after detailed deliberation by the Managing Committee of the outfit, i.e., when the members are sober, objectives of the movement, charter of demands and action plan of Bacchus Club would be finalized.
3. The Survey findings with suitable alteration to show the subject matter in a positive light from tipplers’ perspective would be published ( this is the way generally survey findings on any subject are further processed ).
4. The number of persons benefiting from drinking would be highlighted, i.e., gainful employment, with particular emphasis to toddy tapping which provides large scale employment and tourist inflow.
5. The participation or involvement level of politicians and police in smuggling of spirits would be scrupulously avoided in making public the findings of the survey.
6. The survey would help in giving unofficial but effective tips to politicians and police on how to increase their earnings from smuggling.
7. Self styled psychologists would be involved in writing detailed essays for publication in print media by selectively quoting from the survey. Suppressio veri, suggestio falsi, i.e., suppress truth and suggest falsehood, would be practiced with gusto, but quietly. For instance, drinking of husbands leading to wives beating them, would be suitably altered to indicate that many a husband drinks because of beating of the wife.
8. Impress on the committee of Bacchus Club that disorderly behaviour of members should not be a cause or reason for such members being subjected to disciplinary action, considering the fact that normal behaviour of members after a few pegs would be disorderly.
9. Quietly and if required confidentially seek the co-operation of journalists who are tipplers but may not be keen to make it known, so that positive stories are published in the media on tipplers and imbibing. First item in the agenda would be to propagate the fact that it is normal for tipplers to be disorderly, citing the example of similar behaviour of elected
representatives in the Assemblies and Parliament, even without drinking. If those honourable gentlemen can behave in such a manner while sober, why not those who worship Bacchus and had a few pegs.
10. ‘ Have a peg and be happy,’ ‘ Have more than one peg and experience bliss ‘ - this will be the title of the pamphlet of Bacchus Club for propagating spirits. Inside pages of pamphlet would have simple, yet effective examples, on the positive aspects of drinking. For example:
‘ I returned home from my office dispirited because my boss had fired me for not solving a problem he had cited. Sitting on the chair and despite mulling over the matter for quite some time, I could not find a solution to the problem. Then I stood up, took three firm strides, opened the cabinet, took the bottle and gulped a long peg neatly. In a few minutes the problem did not appear to me as a serious one. After the second drink, I thought about who created the problem and the fact that it was my boss dawned to me. Then while gulping the third peg, it suddenly occurred to me ‘ if he ( my boss ) had created the problem, then let him solve it. Why should I worry.’
After that it was the bottle taking me to Nirvana.
The story could be altered by changing boss to wife.
11. There could be quotations of famous people, such as,
A lady member of Parliament said to Winston Churchill ‘ Winston, you are drunk.’ Churchill responded by saying, ‘ I will be sober tomorrow. But you are ugly.’ The message was that I will be O.K. tomorrow whereas you are ugly life long.
12. It is normal that a drinker becomes contrite the morning after the drink and would behave exceedingly nice with family members. This enables the wives to extract maximum from such men, especially money for buying some dress material or ornament, two rampant diseases afflicting woman-folk through out the world in this generation, past and future generations also. Though widely known, this trait of drinkers will be highlighted in a positive way through the media.
13. I will then make a Mission Statement / Vision Statement / SWOT analysis for the Club. This is to give respect to the Club as many reputed companies and Chambers of Commerce / Industry Associations do. As in their case, it is not important whether constituents agree with the principles and goals enunciated in the above statement / analysis. It is for publicity and for getting funds, about which later. Though the constituents reading the statement / analysis know very well that there is not an iota of truth in what has been stated, still they will be happy, because self delusion is human nature. Further, such statement / analysis would impart some respectability to the movement and organization.
14. Once the above drawn schemes are in the process of implementation, I will start the most important work of preparing a set of objectives and a lengthier Charter of Demands for the Club. This is the in thing. Moreover, being located in Kerala, the Club has to move with the trend there of having Charter of Demands for any movement, even for pimping. Then again Charter of Demands has to precede strike and agitation, which are essential ingredients for a set up in Kerala to thrive and show its muscle. Further, taking into account the type of members of the club, any time it would be easy to mobilize a large number of people and shout slogans, besides picketing the Assembly, by suitably rewarding through bottles in the evening.
Objectives of the Movement
1. Propagate values and benefits of drinking to self, families of tipplers and the State.
2. Agitate for free movement of liquor, production of all categories of liquor, prescription of maximum mixing of various drinks, removal of restrictions in the matter of drinking, i.e., place, time, age, sex, etc.,
3. To seek for equal tax incidence on alcoholic beverages and medicines, on the ground that both alleviate misery.
4. To seek for judiciary taking a lenient view of misdemeanors of tipplers.
5. Seek grant from the State for the activities of the Bacchus Club.
6. Enter into mutually beneficial tie ups with Indian and foreign liquor majors and seek funds from the later for Bacchus club activities.
7. To persuade Government to allow sale of low alcoholic content booze with soft drinks.
8. To repeatedly issue clarion call to tipplers in the closet to come out of the same and openly and proudly declare, ‘ I booze.’
9. Participating in elections as tipplers and en-masse voting to candidates who would espouse the cause of tipplers.
10. Through continuous propaganda more and more people should be hypnotized to viewing tipplers as ‘ lovable rascals ‘ instead of ridiculing or chastising them.
Charter of Demands of Bacchus Club
1. Inalienable right of tipplers to be treated as honourable citizens of the State should be unequivocally recognized and announced by the Government and Assembly.
2. Kicking the tipplers below the belt through extortion in the name of tax – an approach taken by successive Finance Ministers of the State, despite the fact that many of them are
closet worshippers of Bacchus, should be stopped forthwith. As in the case of CST, each year the rate of tax should be reduced by five percentage points to ultimately reach zero tax.
3. The following actions should be treated as cognizable offences:
· Asking the would be bridegroom whether he imbibes
· Showing in films and TV serials Bacchus lovers in a bad light.
· Publishing in newspapers photos of any drunken scene or brawl in the aftermath of consumption of spirits.
· Not allowing liquor shops / bars in the vicinity of religious places / schools / colleges. Nothing is gained by religious worshippers and college boys, after going through the tedium of praying / mugging essays, being made to walk unnecessarily long distances for getting their legitimate need for booze.
· Inflammatory speeches / printed words against imbibing.
4. Kerala should take the lead by being the first State to declare
drinking as one of the Fundamental rights of citizens.
5. One day in a year should be declared as ‘ Tipplers Day ‘ like
May Day, etc.,
6. The State Government should move the Union Government to include the above rights in the Constitution. For achieving this, the State Government should canvass with other State Governments.
7. The State Government should set up a Committee, with a Cabinet Minister or High Court Judge as Chairman, to look into the complaints / views of tipplers, with tipplers having eighty percent of representation in the committee.
8. The State Government should initiate an exchange programme of tipplers, first between various States in India and then with other countries.
9. The State Government should sponsor tours of tipplers to other countries for both studying the subject further and also for exchange of views between tipplers of various races and colours.
10. Syllabus of schools and colleges should be changed to incorporate both positive and negative sides of drinking, instead of the present position of only decrying drinking. Moderate drinking advised by medical profession, in respect of certain ailments, should also find a place in the syllabus.
11. A list of four letter words would be drawn up by the Bacchus Club and forwarded to Government. Using of these words after a few drinks with impunity and will not be a punishable offence, but will be a punishable offence if used by people in sober condition.
12. Same goes for dress code, in as much as the urge for drinkers after a few pegs to disrobe themselves and walk in streets and public places, should be leniently looked upon by the enforcers of law.
13. Senior citizens should be entitled to have monthly quota of liquor without tax.
14. The State Government should approach ADB for loan to improve the lot of tipplers ( World Bank is anathema to Communist Government. If Congress Government comes to power in the State, then World Bank could also be approached for the purpose ).
15. Inter State and intra State competitions between tipplers would be an annual event, the expenses being borne by the State, with prizes for different categories, such as, maximum consumption of liquor in one sitting, able to walk steadily after reasonable level of consumption, talking sense after imbibing generously, etc.,
16. There would be an annual parade of tipplers, like the beauty competition, of those who are capable of walking and behaving properly after a few pegs.
17. There would be annual awards by the Bacchus Club to the actor who realistically portrayed the role of lovable tippler in films / serials and to the best article written pointing out the virtues and pluses of imbibing.
Note:
I know that in the above write up there has been some mix up and some repetitions. This was not avoidable considering the fact that it is only after a few pegs that I started writing this piece and further for inspiration while writing I had a few more pegs.
Succession plan
In the matter of my succession, I follow the time tested method adopted by politicians and businessmen. I will project from my family the successor to me and groom him up during my tenure. I will teach him the tricks of the trade. At the same time I will also be alert all the time on the activities of other senior members of the Club. Any revolt brewing in the Club would be put down without any mercy in a democratic fashion.
My retirement
I will decide when to retire. Hence there would be no mention of retiring age of President of the Club in its constitution. During the tenure of Presidency, I would not require any salary because I would follow the norm generally observed in this country on such matters. The Club will provide me free of charge residence-cum-President’s office/guest house, with the outfit being not in any way inferior to the houses provided to the Ministers of the Government. President’s office and residence will be only for my use and for Bacchus Club activities there would be another office. I will be provided with one of the latest mid segment cars with a driver. Initial money for purchase and running expenses will be met by the exchequer, failing which from the Club funds. The Guest house, i.e., where I stay will not be available for use to anybody, other than my relatives and friends. Since it is to be termed as a Guest house, the running expenses of the same including food and liquor will be met by the exchequer or the Club. Further, as is the usual practice, I will keep goodwill allowance given by liquor majors, though I will be doing this reluctantly only with the intention that neither exchequer or the Club are further burdened financially.
Since I would be President for Life of the Bacchus Club, in all probability I would drop dead while serving the cause. Yet, it is possible that I am thrown out after some time by the caucus. Formation of caucus in any outfit in Kerala is an inevitable development. Or my relative who was inducted in the club to eventually take over from me the post of President may do a coup and throw me out. This type of thing happens often in politics and business. In that event I would have to be moderately provided with salary and perks by the State equivalent to what is being given to the Chief Minister. That, you readers would appreciate is not asking much, particularly when I am sacrificing my life for such a worthy cause.
**
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