Syndromes of

GRASS IS GREANER
&
DIFFICULTY IN ENVISAGING AND HENCE ACCPETING THE UNKNOWN


“ The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds.”

1. These are wide-spread syndromes so far as human beings are concerned. Be it change of job or location of stay or any other matter affecting our lives, we are victims of either of the above two psychological under pinning. And hence we approach matters and take decisions based on either of the above two pulls or pushes. Invariably we are not aware that we have taken decisions on the basis of either of the above two factors. We legitimize our decisions by helpful inputs given by our brain.

2. Some call it intuition and then take the stand that intuition cannot be properly explained but in the past intuition has helped in taking the right decision.

3. Either of the above two syndromes quite often comes to play when one is considering choice between two or more options in life. It is subtle yet effective. The brain wittingly or unwittingly supplies to the mind the brownie points for the choice to be opted for and negatives for the choice not to be opted for. The mind then continuously refurbishes both images. ‘ Whim ‘ becomes rational and logical often to support or reject the option available.

4. The third syndrome is conditioning. Most of the time one is not aware of the conditioning. For example, if a Southern lad is brought up with the conditioning of ‘ be wary of North Indians,’ when he grows up unconsciously he would have an aversion to shifting to North.

5. Does the exercise of putting down on a piece of paper the pluses and minuses of each option help one to make the right decision. Unfortunately ‘NO’ in respect of most decisions. Because the mind monkeys with the scores or marks of each point to arrive at the predetermined option.
6. That leaves on with whim, intuition, sixth sense, etc., Obviously this is not a rational approach, many would aver. But then actions or decisions of human beings are not often rational, though when asked to explain one would be able to trot out any number of reasons for the choice made.

7. ‘There is more money,’ ‘ career wise it is a better choice, ‘ ‘I want to get out of the rat race, ‘ ‘ I will be near my kith and kin,’ ‘ This change will enhance the likelihood of mending fences with my life partner, ‘ so on and so forth.

8. But is the person who wants to decide really hankering after more money. Can one get out of rat race once in. Reunion with kith and kin once or twice a year is possible from anywhere in the globe - See what happens.

9. Factually and also unhappily, hardly anybody else could help the person to come to a decision, even if they are close, be it relative or friend. Because, genuine though it is, their advice would be largely based on their approaches and wishes towards their lives which could be quite different from that of the person who has to decide.

10. At best close friends and relatives can provide some pointers or inputs. They can discuss the matter in depth with the person who has to take a decision. It is possible that some of the pointers and imagined ‘ pluses’ and ‘minuses’ arising out of the discussion could help the person who has to decide. It could happen that a minor point made by another may be considered as a decisive factor for the person concerned to arrive at a decision.

11. Many a Bombayite are averse to relocating to Delhi or Kolkata. Delhi is a place full of uncouth people. Everything is slow in Kolkatta. Mumbai is orderly and really cosmopolitan. Similar aguments are advanced by Delhietes and Kolkatans.

12. For fast career progression IT is the right place because merit is given its due place ( what about fourteen hours of slogging ). Let us go back to our native place which is an el dorado and get out of the rat race and mayhem of cities ( And most of the people who had shifted, after a year or two wail at the shortcomings of the native place. Some even have re-shifted ). Let us have a second house at a hill station or back in the native place ( Disappointment settles in after a year or two because of the expense of running two places, escaping from heat of one place and going to the second place which is also hot, no good neighbours ).

13. The other phenomenon also works often. Known place, known job, known friends – there is comfort in all these. It may be that the new place may be in comparison a better place, be it in terms of job, ambience, friends, etc. But why take a chance.

14. We know the pluses and minuses of the existing place or job. But in the case of a new place or a new job we visualize what the same would be, which need not be true.

15. It all boils down to (1) discuss extensively ( not ad nausea ) with others on pluses and minuses (2 ) not jump and take decison impetuously or in a ‘whim ‘ (3) mull over the points made, and ( 4) allow brain to ponder over the matter and help in deciding.

But all the time be cautious about the subject syndromes working.

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