CARICATURES

“A caricature is either a portrait that exaggerates or distorts the essence of a person or thing to create an easily identifiable visual likeness, or in literature, a description of a person using exaggeration of some characteristics and oversimplification of others. Caricatures can be insulting or complimentary drawn solely for entertainment. Thus, the word "caricature" essentially means a "loaded portrait".

PORTRAIT OF MALAYALIS (MALLU)
( Mallu is an affectionate term and not a pejorative one)

‘MALLU is individualistic in thought and expression and at the same time a social animal attracted to hordes of the same specie. To paraphrase the term coined by Amartya Sen, ‘ Mallu is argumentative but not destructive.’ To him mighty mountains and roaring rivers are not obstacles in his quench for reaching new areas for sustenance. His survival instinct is strong. He is not a warrior but a survivor, particularly when the odds are against him. Perfection is not his forte but sustenance is. Political genes transferred through heredity finds often expression, though often convoluted his justification for his thoughts may be. He is satisfied with achieving comfortable living, with not much attraction for scaling new heights. The specie of Mallu is found in all the nook and corners of this blessed earth.’

A full blooded Mallu does not subscribe to argumentum e silentio ( i.e., argument from silence ), but in argumentum ad ignorantium ( arguing based on ignorance ). Wearing a lungi ( dhoti ) with the portion touching the floor lifted and tied loosely at the waste ( which humourist Jug Suraiya called ‘half mast’), as is the Kerala style, with a baniyan and some times with head bandana of Kerala towel, with a beedi in his mouth, a Mallu, be he a barber or a cook, has an opinion which he would express firmly on all matters under the sky, some even tricky, and is cocksure of his views and metaphorically would be prepared to fight until his death to uphold the same. It is because of this trait that management of most companies dread the prospect of discussion or negotiation with unionists with a Mallu spokesman. The only place where Mallu does not exhibit his this unique talent is in his home because his wife, being a Mallu, would in no time demolish his arguments and his children would give a look as if he has gone bananas.

ORIGIN OF MALLU

Anthropologists aver that Indian continent was part of Africa very very long back. There is circumstantial evidence to subscribe to this finding when you observe the features of some of the Mallus. Curly, thick and jet black hair on the head and body, square / rectangular facial structure, thick, broad and pink coloured lips and tongue, strong face, stocky physical structure - Negroid features. Then there are Mallus with cat’s eye, extremely fair complexion, light blond hair on the head and body, thin/pursed lips, soft features - akin to that of Westerners and Arabs. And ancient history tells us that Westerners and Arabs came to India in the first to third centuries AD and a few settled/ stayed for a period ( and then probably went back ) in various parts of Kerala. During the period of their stay, they would have co-habited with the local population. Further, according to Modern history, large number of Brahmins from North had gone / fled to South a thousand and more years back. Obviously the genes of those people, i.e., Arabs, Westerners and Brahmins, who had come and settled/ stayed in Kerala for long periods, would have been transmuted while transmitting from generation to generation.

CARICATURE OF A MALLU ( By Jug Suraiya, Humourist )

‘ Passion, of course, is the core of the Malayali being. To the Malayali it does not seem to matter so much what you do or don’t do, just so long as you are passionate about it. So he is passionate about faith and he is passionate about skepticism; he is passionate about Communism and he is passionate about petro-dollar Capitalism; he is passionate about indulgence and he is passionate about abstinence. Which is why in Kerala you might see a lot of religion but not too much religiosity; ideology but not necessarily indoctrination, a lot of drinking but little drunkenness. Such cultural cross currents give the Malayali his innate dynamism.’
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BENGALI BADRAPURUSH / BADRALOK ( BONGO )

When a Bongo converses with non-Bongos, there is no problem for Bongo but for non-Bongos there is one. Bongo pronounces often ‘ S ‘ as ‘SH’ ‘Bha’ as ‘Bh’ So when somebody wishes Bongo ‘Good morning ‘ or ‘Happy New Year,’ Bongo would respond by saying ‘ Shame to you ( meaning ‘Same to you’). Similarly, when a Bongo invites a non Bongo for ‘ Bhojan ‘ in his house, the friend who lands up at the house of the Bongo would realize that the invitation was to ‘ Bhajan.’

The second problem with Bongos is that they have been eating regularly large quantities fish for eons that most of them have started looking somewhat fishy.

In the somewhat distant past, the terms coined, such as, Bhadralok or Westernised Oriental Gentleman ( WOG ) or pucca Indian Saheb fitted the Bongos to the T. This happened by far because British had their first capital in the country in Kolkatta and stay put there for a long time. Many Bongos had to interact often with the British and the British style and manners rubbed on the pedigree of Bongo aristocrats. British looked with disdain all Indians including the ones imitating them as above. Many of the Bongos outdid British in being British. Taking a cue from British, Bongos, particularly, the Bhadralok there, started looking askance at people who were down and under. With the advent of Communism in West Bengal, Bongos had to reluctantly discard their westernized manners and appearance, because the same started inviting ridicule instead of earlier reverence.

Bongos are argumentative. And that probably put Amartya Sen in a predicament. Being a Bongo, he could not have put the title to his famous book ‘ Argumentative Bongo’ and hence the title of ‘ Argumentative Indian, ‘ though apart from Mallus, nobody else in India is as argumentative as a Bongo.

You broach up the subject of poor economic performance of Bengal, the Bongo would neatly side track the point by repeatedly, emphatically and proudly asserting how many great men were born in Bengal, Vivekananda, Satyajit Ray, Amartya Sen, et all. You repeat your point and the Bongo will repeat his reply/retort. The fact that most of the Bongos had not read Vivekananda or Amartya Sen or seen the films of Satyajit Ray, is neither here nor there.

Many Bongos wring their hands in despair at non Bongos alluding to Bongos innate talent / taste for fine arts, particularly music, both singing and playing various musical instruments. To keep up this image many of the Bongos spend hours and hours to learn these arts, though their hearts are not tuned to these fine arts. Yet another title which Bongos find it difficult to keep up with, is that of intellectual. They like the admirable label, but they know that they are not so. This forced generations of Bongos to memorise some of the things that the intellectual Bongos have said.

Confront a Bongo with the present day anachronism and inhuman system of West Bengal having human beings pulling rickshah or why snail’s pace moving trams are still there, he will have look of being cornered. With no proper explanation coming to his head, he will say that the case of rickshah is karma and that of tram, Bengalis like quaint and ancient vehicles, like Austin car. But he has more difficulty in explaining the incongruity of Bengal having both Mother Therasa and voluble Mamta Banerji.

Bongos will demur at the term that they are clannish, though in their hearts they take it as a compliment. Expression of this will be found in the Durga Puja functions celebrated by Bongos all over India. Just as in the case of Mallus, there is a contradiction in the case of Bongos also. Both are at the same time fiercely individualistic and yet prone to be unionists. Since Communism is supposed to bring in equality between all, Bongos will quote as proof that both Communists and the States which had Communist Governments have been consistently faring badly.

With their laid back culture for centuries, the best thing that Bongos enjoy doing is doing nothing. This virus had spread through out the State long back and become stay put, with the result that Bongos in the Secretariat do not even pretend to work, as is the position in Secretariats of other States. This ideal past-time is not confined to babus but et all with the result that business in Bengal is run by Marwaris, taxis are run by Sardis and low level work is done by Biharis. Bongos do not despair at this state of affairs. They are quite content to be in office between 11 and 4, with most of the time occupying in gossip, trivia of politics, tea/coffee drinking, smoking and just plain dozing. And during the Puja period everything in West Bengal comes to a standstill, as Bongos firmly believe that it is sacrilegious to do any work during the Puja period.

Football is in the blood of Bongos. When football matches are taking place anywhere in the world including India, all Bongos will sit before the idiot box, with tension and the general demeanour of ‘ office work – my foot.’ All Bongos are fierce in their lowyalty towards this or that Club. And a non Bongo risks physical assault from a Bongo if per chance the former expresses admiration to the Club to which the Bongo is opposed to.

Bengali language is musical, particularly when spoken by demure Bengali ladies with considerable grace and élan, who are also excellent hostesses. Since one cannot separate man from woman in analysis of this nature, Bongo men’s shortcomings are more than made up by the Bongo damsels.